First Contact: The Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 1

I don’t know about you all, but this year I celebrated Christmas in a way that truly honored the Spirit of the Season: by watching a decade-old reality television season and eating pepper jack by the block. Climb into my time machine, won’t you, and let’s revisit a time when Beyonce and Rihanna ruled pop culture, investors grew rich from a credit bubble, and a dangerously stupid president endangered us all with his incompetence.

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First Contact: The Real Housewives of Vancouver, Season 1

People say, “You know​ Gerard…you’re so pretty, you’ve never looked better, you’re so smart, you’re independent…” Yeah, I fucking know that shit!! But it may shock you to learn that, despite my panache, my elan, I am a relative Housewives novice. So welcome to what I guess is a series where I walk you through my new discoveries of old seasons. In hono(u)r of my Canadian co-bloggers, picture it: British Columbia, 2012. Four…okay, fine, *five* women, one city, a whole lot of personality disorders.

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