Vayan conmigo, mis brujas, as we take a trip South Of America for tripe tacos, tequila-induced bloodshed, and terrible Gina Liano insults.
I wouldn’t consider this episode a hit but thanks to Dorit’s continued hot streak of self-destruction it was a marked improvement. What has our star Mrs. Kemsley been up to this week? Let’s discuss.
I’d ask you to give me your phones, but then most of you wouldn’t be able to read this week’s recap. So please put them on silent instead.
As I’ve familiarized myself with the winsom, grainily-VHSed, mortgage-bubble charms of early RHOC, I’ve already experienced many highs (Jo cheerfully waving Slade’s severed penis in the air, Vicki bellowing Briana’s name across time zones) and lows (Lauri having access to more wealth than most historical humans). But certainly my most strongly held emotion is an all-consuming, white-hot loathing of the Keough family, down to a member.
Now, don’t get me wrong; there’s no bad answer to the question posed in the title of this post. They’re 👏🏼 all 👏🏼 nauseating 👏🏼 trash 👏🏼 !!! But which particular flavor of evil do you think I’ll select on in the end as the chief locus of my loathing and contempt as the Keough wagon rolls ever, infernally, onward? Let’s game it out.
This week on RHOBH Erika and Lisa Rinna are off in Japan chaperoning the model girls and eating gross foodstuffs. LVP hosts a lunch and Kyle throws a party in the dark. How will I get my (trigger warning) lifestyle porn when there’s no power??? Let’s see if I survive the loss.
I almost wasn’t able to write this recap of the RHONJ finale. I fell down 18 stairs and suffered a sprained ankle and a contusion. I had to get a CAT scan. But I heard you were talking about me, so here I am, and I’ve got some shit to get off my chest.