The Round-Up: Life Is But a Dream

Hey y’all! With our intrepid Gossip Townsperson Tay Tay off on a jaunt to CDMX, I decided I’d fill in for a quick update on the goings-on of our favorite anxiety-disorder-cluster sufferers in the pages of the rags! Dive sub-fold for some post-modern shit worthy of Borges.

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Love Tanked: Worst Househusbands

Love is in the air this week. If you’re ignoring all the schmoopy-ing and just waiting for candy to go on sale February 15th then this might be the ranking for you. I can’t think of too many spouses in the Real Housewives sphere who genuinely keep any love tanks full. I can think of plethora awful ones, though. Let’s quash that romantic spirit, shall we?

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Ranked: The Real Housewives Seasons of 2017

It’s New Year’s Eve, and you’re prettying up for a night on the town (unless you’re checking into rehab — stay strong, Countess!). But before you head out, put down that lip gloss and unplug your straightener, and focus on what’s really important: which of the 2017 iterations of The Real Housewives of Wherever the Fuck was the best. In fact, cancel your plans. This could take all night.

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Personality Quiz: Which photo of Athena X Levendi cavorting with food in a marketplace are you?


Whether you’re having a nice cup of tea between regressions or simply recovering from a screaming match at your own gallery show, we’ve all wondered while perusing Athena X’s Instagram account: which photo of Athena X lovingly interacting with produce and seafood best represents my spirit? Wonder no longer.

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Best of Instagram: Athena X

Oceanic franchises are very popular here at Bitchy Witches Headquarters and for good reason. If you haven’t treated yourself to Melbourne, Auckland, or Sydney then you will need to rectify this immediately. Sydney’s first season was the most recent offering from down under and it lived up to its predecessor’s legacy. Immediately upon the cast release the BWs hopped onto Instagram to suss out the new cast of characters and we became enamored with artistic enigma Athena X Levendi [Levendi Levendi Levendi]. Thankfully her Instagram feed wasn’t a fluke and it’s a pretty good little glimpse into her jatz crackers world. Why don’t we dive in?

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