Halloween Spooktacular: Psychics and Mediums

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If we’re counting off things these rich ladies love (in a plot twist surprising to no one, the true horror is privilege), we must acknowledge psychics. Truly, nothing says “bored with too much money” like paying a stranger to magically divine your future. But as we well know, on these cold autumn days, we must be careful when crossing the veil between worlds. Here are some of the spOoOoOokiest Real Housewives psychics and mediums.

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Rewatch: The Real Housewives of Melbourne – S02E07

As someone whose primary Real Housewives viewing has taken place in the past two years, I’ve done a lot of marathoning after the fact. There’s a bittersweet sadness to running out of episodes of a great franchise and being left to wait around for the next season. Surely the same is amplified for those of you who watched all the episodes in their original run. Join me then as I rewatch some of my favourite one-off episodes from seasons gone by. The announcement that Melbourne will be returning in December inspired me to head down under.

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Happy Birthday Lydia!

As your one-stop shop for Lydia Schiavello updates, we’d be remiss not to let you know about her 49th birthday bash. The significance? Only Gina and Venus were there.

The Prognostication Department here at BW HQ has long predicted a Good (Gamble, Janet, Jackie) versus Evil (Gina, Lydia, Venus) battle for Melbourne S4, so it’s nice to get some (pseudo-)confirmation.

This particular article also predicts a Gamble-centric season, which we’re very much here for, considering that Tracey just named her new dog after Mme. Breaux Wolfe.

Melbourne (finally) premieres in December, so look for even more exciting unsourced tabloid gossip coming soon!

Lydia Schiavello is Hawking Frozen Snack Pies

This is the most important article you’ll read today (if the gotdamn Daily Telegraph doesn’t paywall you). I mean, damn, imagine hiring Lydia Schiavello to spock speak on behalf of your brand. What you get is gorgeous word soup like:

Having a little Patties pie and a drink is gourmet. It’s not just the Four’N Twenty. With a glass of champagne, darling, I’m sure I could sweep you off your feet.

and

You do see royalty and the Queen going to a game of tennis or something like that and I don’t think they’ll be eating caviar…I think they eat a Four’N Twenty pie every now and then, come on. That’s pretty standard. As long as you know how to roll it in your mouth and hold it. It’s like holding a glass of champagne. There’s the right way of holding a Patties pie.

Strongly agree, Lydia. (Not gonna lie, though, I would actually drunk-eat the shit out of these puppies.)

Have You Seen This Dress?!

APB out for the above dress, worn by one Gamble Breaux Wolfe for the 2017 Logies (Aussie Emmys) (yes they’re called that), better remembered as the night an interviewer chipped her teeth with a microphone.

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Said dress has now been *stolen* from the designer’s atelier, the horror! Gamble suspects an “aggressive collector of Housewives memorabilia” (same) and says that this person is “known to all the Housewives.” All eyes on you, Manuela.

Anyhow, if spotted, please return. Wicket and Cash have been inconsolable.

The (New) Real Housewives of Melbourne

While we continue to wait impatiently for imminent Melbourne S4 news (I see you out there IG-storying from your publicity shoots ladies!!), enjoy this quick fact sheet about the season’s two newbies, Sally and Venus, accompanied of course by glamorous pix thieved from social media.

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