This show is slowly killing me.
“Hi, Shamea… yeah, it’s us again. NeNe won’t film, so… yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. If you want to patch things up with — okay, sure. Yeah. A fight? Yeah, sure, whoever. How about Kenya? Sure. Sure. Okay, thanks again. See you Sunday. Bye.”
I wouldn’t consider this episode a hit but thanks to Dorit’s continued hot streak of self-destruction it was a marked improvement. What has our star Mrs. Kemsley been up to this week? Let’s discuss.
I’d ask you to give me your phones, but then most of you wouldn’t be able to read this week’s recap. So please put them on silent instead.
This week on RHOBH Erika and Lisa Rinna are off in Japan chaperoning the model girls and eating gross foodstuffs. LVP hosts a lunch and Kyle throws a party in the dark. How will I get my (trigger warning) lifestyle porn when there’s no power??? Let’s see if I survive the loss.
I almost wasn’t able to write this recap of the RHONJ finale. I fell down 18 stairs and suffered a sprained ankle and a contusion. I had to get a CAT scan. But I heard you were talking about me, so here I am, and I’ve got some shit to get off my chest.
Raise your hand if “it’s a joke, look at the ‘LOL'” will now be your go-to excuse for meantexts.