Catching up with New Jersey

It’s another one of…those seasons. You know what I’m talking about.

Hello folks! I have been here and watching Jersey, albeit on a delay. I just caught up on the past three episodes and I have some thoughts.

1. Dear lord, I cannot take this season of Melissa/Joe vs. Teresa drama. I tried to be a little bit optimistic because it really does bring out the best in Tre, but that doesn’t mean it’s enjoyable or watchable. I don’t care about Nono, I don’t care about Melissa, I don’t care about the theatrics, I don’t care about who controls whom. Please bring back Siggy or let’s get something else going because I cannot take this being the only storyline all season.

2. In more positive news, Jennifer’s nouveau riche self is exactly what I want in a housewife. An obnoxious and socially awkward braggart. A really rich lady with absolutely zero taste who filled up her “Monte Carlo” mansion with a bunch of gaudy made-in-China pastiche like thrones and rhinestones. I could tell her home wasn’t all made of plyboard and glued together crackers like the other notable McMansions of Jersey, but it was still very, very ugly. It has a view of Paramus mall! Anyone who doesn’t find Jennifer funny needs to check themselves. No, she’s not a superstar, but without her you can go back to watching this Gorga/Giudice redux and nothing else. She’s a breath of fresh air.

3. Stop trying to make Jackie happen. She’s not there yet. I think people enjoy her standing up to Teresa but I still don’t find her interesting. I’m rooting for her to teach the other wives about gender roles in their marriages but I’m not hopeful. We’ve got some of the caveman-iest spouses on Jersey (hey speaking of topical Jersey husbands, this piece of shit) and I just don’t care to get into who controls them because I personally wouldn’t want to be blamed for that mess.

4. Where is Danielle? Did the producers really slash her to nothing but a scene every other episode with Marge? I want to see the triumphant bride prepping for her nuptials. I want to see her making Dolores relevant. I demand more Danielle to break things up. Marge too! Way too little Marge. Yes we got a lot of her friend in Oklahoma but I am ready for her to start scrapping because she really drove the excellent S8 by poking Siggy in just the right places. I am hopeful she gets more into things as the season bears on.

How are you vibing this season so far? Andy was hyping it up pre-season saying Marge was like a Dorinda or Shannon coming in as a superstar and invigorating things. Do you think we have better feuds to come?


9 thoughts on “Catching up with New Jersey

  1. I like Jackie. She reminds of Sally from Melbourne, which in a positive way, means she’ll be the assassin who really just argues with sound logic. A nice juxtaposition to Jennifer’s delusion and the old traditional mindsets of most of the NJ wives.

    Love Jennifer so far. Her solid mini-villain arc already means she’ll probably be a treat for the entire season. Her and Marge get into it later this season so I can’t wait to see those two at eachother’s throats.

    From what I have read Danielle basically had to reduce her scenes heavily due to her divorce from Marty. A real shame. She seems extra unhinged because of the wedding planning and also has a falling out with Marge later on so I hope we get some good stuff.

    Dolores can still ROT.

    1. I guess that makes Teresa the wog bitch. I could enjoy her as someone who cuts through Tre’s bullshit, I guess I just don’t enjoy her affect much.

      Watching Dolores insert herself firmly in Tre’s rectum is no fun.

    1. We are alive! That lazy fuck Ger is not up to date on ATL or NJ so I’m the only one available to cover it and I’m busy with that whole annoying paid work thing. New content coming soon again though!!

  2. Can’t wait for more content. Will be marathoning Real Housewives on Hayu like a beast until then, and checking the site regularly.

    Appreciate all the work you guys do and look forward to every article!

Leave a Reply