Highs and Lows: Game of Phones – RHOD

What better way to catch up on life post-Thanksgiving than to gorge on all of the currently airing housewives? I’ve been waiting for this phone cloning since the mid-season trailer dropped and the episode did not disappoint.


1. Liberator. LeeAnne after the Brandi chewout was hilarious, setting Stephanie and everyone free to go be a friend to Brandi instead of her. It was some top notch passive aggressive guilting and the reason we love LeeAnne here at the Bitchy Witches.

2. L’ugly. First of all, I fucking died when I learned something named L’Infinity is pronounced “L Infinity” because of course let’s make it look French because that’s fancy but also butcher it because this is America. Come at me Americans for your pronunciation of niche and clique. Second of all, wow that’s an exceptionally ugly dress, sorry LeeAnne. You can wear it 175 ways by attaching a variety of hideous sleeves! This kind of dress has been done a zillion times before, and I just kind of wish LeeAnne had picked something more her for a housewives product. LeeAnne branded Tibetan singing bowls? Something to go down the toilet? She needs to capitalize on her meme-ability like Dorinda did.

3. White finale. As an enthusiastic and well noted Kenya Moore fan, LeeAnne coming out at the end of her fashion show in a wedding dress to jab at D’Andra instantly jumped out as such a Kenya move. It was hilarious, and exactly the kind of stupid, passive-aggressive shit to pull at peacetime that I expect from my housewives.

4. Clonegate. Oh come on, this is hilarious! This is what has always bothered me about Dallas with LeeAnne. Like yes, LeeAnne has anger problems and can be very unhinged but at the same time absolutely nobody believed she cloned that phone and needed to be all worked up about it. She tossed that out to fuck with Brandi and admits it, and that is genius. Brandi is super bothered by LeeAnne, just freaking the fuck out all over the place this week, and I’m hoping for a full meltdown next week, although it seems from the preview LeeAnne will be the one getting that treatment.

5. Cary. Bone Collector Cary is my rose for this season. Every damn scene she was in had me rolling. Her and Kameron discussing the phone cloning over their salad was my idea of high brow comedy, cutting back and forth between their facial expressions and disbelief. I’m happy to eat my own words, and I completely rescind my dislike of Cary from the beginning of the season. I never thought I’d make it here, but I’m happy for it.


1. Sparkledog muzzled. Genuinely, I really dislike Court’s treatment of Sparkledog. It makes me feel badly for Kameron that he had no faith in her and now she’s passing off the company. I know she’s ridiculous and over the top and the silly presentations were made for comedy, but against all odds this dog food exists and is being sold. Court is a gross, tiny little man-troll.


4 thoughts on “Highs and Lows: Game of Phones – RHOD

  1. 100% of the problems with this show (and there aren’t many in fairness) tie back to everyone’s inane and bizarre willingness to forgive Brandi her many many MANY sins and crazy bitch moves, yet jump all over Leeanne’s like she murdered a damn baby. Like you said, it feels like the final holdover of S1-style pearl-clutching and it’s so blind to how this is a two-sided rivalry. Either cool it and accept Leeanne’s behavior or come down harder on Brandi’s ass.

    Like you, I kinda LOVE Cary now (HOW?!) and part of why I do is because she does not give a shiiiiit. She’s happy to sit back with some popcorn and watch the fun unfold (very often after stirring it into existence, hehe) and that’s a fantastic trait in a Housewife.

  2. I’m so glad my girl Cary is getting some love from you guys! I always liked her dry self-deprecation and her gossipy loose lips (which FTR Brandi used against her last season, but which everybody forgets about amidst THE ROUND OOP). This year, I appreciate this year that she is owning her natural instinct to gossip and telling everybody straight up ‘Hey, we talked about you and this was what was said.’

    Still don’t buy the love with Dr. Death, but I think it’s clear Cary married for money. I’m still processing her past dating history with Lance Armstrong and how maybe that was a signifier of her poor choice in men?

    Stephanie is outgrowing her old BFF Brandi so fast, and Brandi is obviously incredibly scared and insecure about that, which is why she is lashing out at LeeAnne and playing the victim again in a bid to keep Stephanie close.

  3. It’s really gratifying watching Leeanne get better and better at the whole Housewife thing. Proudly announcing that phonegate was a complete lie to fuck with Brandi and it felt good is unironically the best way to go about something like that. The person that remains in control is the one that wins and all. During the first half of the season I was starting to worry that Leeanne was too much of a mess to ever gain traction with allies but lol I guess not. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen so much Real Housewives at this point that it’s more noticeable, but there’s a real sense that the RHOD are constantly improving their games. Even Brandi, who realistically can only further screw herself from here, is finding new ways to ramp up her outrageous behavior.

    Also echoing the bewildered Cary love. She was definitely more *interesting* last year than s1 (lmao) but I’m impressed that she’s managed to actually be likable.

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