Who is ready for another season of Gorga/Giudice drama? Anyone? Maybe? Yeah I don’t know either but it’s popping off quickly. Let’s talk.
1. Puppy dog eyes. Danielle really chewed that scenery in her (sadly only) scene this week. Granted, she was always over the top even when she was dead serious so she might truly be devastated over Marge attending a Dolores event. Danielle was probably just trying to save her from devastating boredom. All that being said, the star of the scene was definitely Danielle’s dog who meandered out to stare at Marge with eyes that conveyed “why’d you piss her off now she’s going to call Danny over?”
2. Hatchet throwing. All of the women were fucking awful at this hatchet throwing thing, but I admit I would actually like to do this myself. Much like Dallas’s garbage smashing trip, there really is something so enjoyable about throwing weapons/breaking things. It beats another vaginal rejuvenation scene.
3. Shades of Barney. As Marge’s Joe (yes, this cast currently has THREE husbands named Joe) got their anniversary dated tattooed on his finger in lieu of a ring, all I could think of was Tamra famously getting Simon’s name inked on hers like 3 seconds before she demanded the divorce. Hopefully Marge and Joe are solid as a rock because I think they’re cute together even if he’s never going to finish their house renos because the problem is their cash flow and not his work ethic, but I digress.
1. Renovation redux. It might have just been a one-off scene while they shopped for tile, but is Dolores really doing another renovation as her storyline? And more Frank? There should be some contractual clause that Dolores only remains a wife if Danielle is antagonizing her in every scene as that’s the only time I find her worth her… well the Jersey ladies don’t hold anything in their intro so let’s just say she’s not worth her full wife status.
2. Family friction. I don’t think I’m ready for this season. I loved Teresa during the peak of her mania when she was terrorizing Melissa and Joe but I can’t say I really enjoyed viewing the show as a hole. After seeing her rile up her elderly, drunk father and I know this shit is going to messy. Let’s just put a pin on the therapy scenes, ok?
3. Bill Aydin. I felt a bit weird watching the scene of Bill and Jennifer because it seemed like they were trying to push the “middle eastern women have no freedoms” stereotype pretty hard. Bill didn’t do anything Kordell Stewart or Jim Bellino haven’t so I guess my point is all men can be controlling dickbags and I hope this isn’t doesn’t become a narrative about how Turks are ass backwards. Even watching through that lens of awareness, I still find his dead-eyes super creepy and I’m not sure if it’s just too much Botox or what. I’m not sold, but it looks like Jennifer might be a good time this season. And she’s actually rich! I mean who cares, but it’s a fun twist to see someone not on the edge of foreclosure on Jersey.