💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E18 – The Finale

Grab your whips and tighten your corsets, Witches; it’s finale time.

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Emily

Screenshot (1964)

This Episode: Being a femme fatale is about being a powerful woman who blah blah SHUT UP it’s okay to say you wanna dress slutty we all wanna just dress slutty sometimes!! Anyway I love the theme of Emily being a party planner who plans the world’s frumpiest parties. I suppose this is the OC after all.

This Season: Yeah this episode was a looot of Emily, confirming the fact that I’m not gonna miss her. Uh, not that she’s sure to be fired. But………I’m not gonna miss her.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Gina

Screenshot (1961)

This Episode: Oh my god the STIRRING. Gina is genius (ginius? I’m working on it) and you could see Tamra’s gears frantically whirring as she realized she has to deal with a Tamra Jr. That shit will not end well you heard it here first.

This Season: What a fantastic first season! Infusing the OC with East Coast energy was a great call. Hoping for a villain season next year because Gina would take on the role with suuuch panache I just know she would.

Tamra

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This Episode: Tamra trying to tie this season into a neat little bow by being all “That Shannon she so crazy heehee!!” didn’t work, but I appreciated the effort.

This Season: I’m enjoying this Late Tamra motif where she storms in with a crazy emotional storyline, then drops it entirely in the final stretch in favor of getting mixed up in the drama. Atrial fibriwho?

Vicki

Screenshot (1962)

This Episode: 9jjhpu

This Season: Vicki really skated by this year, huh? I guess it’s been :checks calendar: six millennia since Vicki survived a season mostly unscathed so I suppose she was due. Although…there’s still the reunion, and she’s calling Kelly Dodd a cokehead there, so.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Kelly

Screenshot (1963)

This Episode: PAPA HAS DOUGH

PRETTY HUGE DICK

Good Lord please keep feeding Kelly Dodd an assortment of pretty boys to chew up and spit out. I’d watch a spinoff of it.

This Season: Vicki and Kelly having the easiest time in a Housewives season, who would have imagined? Which is hilarious, because theirs is the most vitriolic rivalry ultimately. Two maniacs on a continuous race to the bottom…well, again, there’s always the reunion.

Shannon

Screenshot (1960)

This Episode: I would eat pretty much fucking anything–my friends call me the Human Garbage Disposal–but Shannon’s low-cal meals, IDK man. In other news, I agree that Emily is the crazy one, not Shannon.

This Season: I’m always pro-Shannon, don’t get me wrong, but she was a slow-grower this season. Once she hit her fully crazy stride though, damn. Everything from Jamaica on was a master class in being a messy disaster and I lapped it all up. Also Archie is a top 10 Housedog.

One thought on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E18 – The Finale

  1. What a return to form after S12 with a breezy, fun vibe but still lots of shitstirring, a few death threats, and a few scooters.

    I think Tamra is my season MVP after taking a few years off lol. We aren’t worthy. I am wondering if she’s going to make Gina her target or avoid her since she’s aware of her tricks. Time will tell.

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