Team Geriatrics (okay fine I’M OLD are you happy).
Good God Tamra is back at her shit-stirring best. She cannot keep her fucking mouth shut this season and I’m so glad. And of course her entire plan to throw a geriatric-themed party that *oops* coincidentally happened to be on the same day as Gina’s birthday party *that she accidentally forgot about* was sooooOOOOOooo bitchy but also fucking hilarious so all is immediately forgiven duh.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Are the rights to “Thank You for Being a Friend” really that expensive?
Call me a sap, but I loved Tamra and Vicki finally rekindling their sublimated lesbian romance. Tamra showing up in those pajamas must have been such a thrilling moment in Vicki’s soul and loins alike. I would also like to quote Vicki’s xanned out rant about Shannon (“SHE HAS A COLORFUL RAINBOW PERSONALITY. THAT IS HOW GOD MADE HER”) because yes exactly.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Donn Gunvalson thought he’d escaped, but of course Vicki still owns his soul for the next 999 years.
When I think “femme fatale” I think “Emily Simpson” that’s for sure.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – Remember when this show was trying to push Pary as the new like Mama Elsa or Dale or Dee or whatever? Yeah she’s boring sorry.
Was anyone getting Lizzie’s Party Bus vibes from Gina’s birthday? Beautiful memories. Seeing Gina spin out into ever greater Frank Grimes-y fury about Shannon is as fun as her divorce storyline is touching. What a find, honestly.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Watching a Housewife this close to my (chronological /Ramona) age is…unsettling.
Such a good mom somehow! Sitting through fucking Oliver! to see your daughter perform as Urchin #3…God bless.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Kelly trying to fuck Matt Kirschenheiter is the S14 storyline we as a country need, nay, deserve.
I don’t know if there’s anything more Shannon Beador than everyone being absolutely beside themselves and exhausted with her, and yet everyone *also* simultaneously scrambling to stay on her good side. When will your faves, etc.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – An enema flashback was exactly what I needed thank you editors!!!