While the first half of Dallas was missing a little bit of that season two oomph, the Denmark trip is here to rectify things. This ep was lit. Skål.
1. High Kam. While Kam’s uptight-ness is key to her character, please consider this my petition to periodically dose her with whichever tranquilizer she took on the flight. Goofy, trolly Kam on the bus to their hotel was a treat.
2. A grand plan. Brandi’s entrapment plot of getting as drunk as humanly possible to prod LeeAnne into calling her an alcoholic is the kind of poorly thought out housewives plan I didn’t even know I wanted. A reverse naked wasted. It worked about as well as intended: not at all. While I appreciate what Brandi adds as a villain I rarely find her funny, but she was a shitshow of hilarity this week. From her forcibily separating D’Andra in the elevator from LeeAnne and Kameron, to then starting the fight back up again once they got into their suite was all I could want from Blackout Brandi.
3. Pretentious haters. I loved Steph and Kam’s hatred of the fancy food at the Michelin star restaurant Fancy Pants 2.0 Cary picked out. Took me straight back to when Heather dragged the OC trash to Cafe des Artistes during Tamra’s bachelorette and everyone was like “what the fuck is this shit? get me a street taco.” While I’m a fan of trying new things and some adventurous stuff, I tried foie gras (at the very same restaurant ironically) and I just don’t get it! “It’s like butter” they say, but actually it’s just a super fatty animal organ and we already have butter which is perfection thanks. Kameron, for being such a snob, really is your typical cultureless American. Enjoy your burgers, girl.
4. Hipsters. Honestly the whole scene of Cary seeing her family and then her extremely hip, extremely Scandinavian cousin’s music performance felt like a comedy sketch. The Dallas housewives could not have been anymore out of place in that little warehouse listening to some hip electronic indie. More of this please.
5. D’unravelled. Kameron and LeeAnne have not leg to stand on with this whole alcoholic/Brandi is ruining your status angle but boy are they ever good at getting under D’Andra’s skin. I’m okay with this a) because it entertains me so who cares who is on the moral highground? and b) D’Andra started this war this season by coming hard for LeeAnne and Rich and for someone who has known LeeAnne for decades, she knows what she is dealing with. Don’t poke the bear. While they might be trolling D’Andra for petty revenge, D’Andra’s rage-y tone and demeanor might be her downfall. Perhaps she’s not so different from LeeAnne after all.
1. None. I literally don’t think I have a low for this episode. I guess I didn’t care for Steph and Brandi joking about Jerry’s Hole but it was a fleeting moment in an otherwise flawless episode.