Sorry for the delay on this one, but I always need to take some time alone to *process* whenever Shannon Beador’s been attacked.
When the fuck did Kelly become the fun lovable comic relief character of RHOC? Doing backflips, boobs akimbo…slay us, redeemed queen.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Would also like to note the persistence of the Woke Kelly subplot through her complaints about how Shannon has First World problems.
Where do I begin? The increasing urgent chyrons tracking Shannon’s radio silence? Her first appearance in the episode over speakerphone to Vicki announcing that she’s been nothing but fun on this trip? Her awkward first dinner back, where she pointedly only apologized to the new girls? The difficult she experienced trying to enter the ocean??? I don’t know guys. Shannon might have clinched season MVP for me.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – It never occurred to me before, but her tagline was a threat all along.
Tamra Judge a shit-stirrer?! How DARE you Shannon Beador. Anyway, glad to see these two work things out, kinda, and Tamra v. Gina next week looks delightfully spicy.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – I know she blamed her tweaked foot for not joining in, but climbing a bunch of wet rocks doesn’t seem that fun anyway…? Good move, Tam.
Peacemaker Vicki will never not amuse me, especially since even after slogging through three consecutive seasons of cartoonish supervillainy she cannot let go of her defensiveness about Brooks Ayers. He’s married! You have a new
parasite man! Move on! (This is the wrongest tree I could possibly bark up, I know.)
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – All in favor of Victoria Gunvalson twerking in every single episode from here on out, raise your ass.
***CONTENT WARNING*** Moms exist! Funny story, I used to work at Paperless Post (home of the D’Agostinos’ wedding save-the-dates), and people would write angry notes to us whenever we celebrated Mother’s Day or Father’s Day on social media or in promo emails because not everyone has two living parents who love them!!!! Anyway what Emily doesn’t realize about Shannon is that, crazy though she may be, she is at least keeping her children safe from WiFi and metal bed frames.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – There’s a certain beautiful poetry in seeing Emily Simpson belly flop off a giant floating trampoline.
It’s always fun to see someone new to the Housewives experience react with exasperation to the sudden and inexplicable ending of a major conflict solely for storyline purposes. (Especially, I assume, since Gina stirred it into being to begin with. Hate to see good work wasted!)
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Ugh, creatures and things are the worst I agree! (I’m only somewhat joking?)