💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E13

This Jamaica trip could have been way more racist than it was so, uh, kudos, ladies! I guess. Now we just need to survive an Atlanta trip to Japan and a New Jersey trip to Turkey…

Emily

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Was she even in this episode.

Rating: ⭐ – Loving her apparent conviction that she’s one of the young’n’fun ones.

Gina

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I like Gina and all but I’ve gotten this Shannon storyline soooo many times before that I just want to fast-forward to the inevitable meltdown thanks.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – There were some craaazy Gina pronunciations this ep but my fave was probably NOOOOUTEE (naughty).

Kelly

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Kelly continues to educate these ladies and the public about class consciousness hell yes socialist mama.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – She’s also *self-aware* now which is simply wild when you think back to first-season Kelly. She knows she wears hooker clothes! And that she’s the Kim Cattrall of the family! (But still embraces it all, thank goodness, I mean it’s 2018 kids this year we’re owning our sluttiness.)

Shannon

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Shannon is truly misunderstood a good 75% of the time, so it’s always useful when an episode reminds us that she is sometimes just completely unbearable and that there’s a reason why everyone on the planet has such an initial distaste upon meeting her 💕. I mean don’t get me wrong she’s still *my* president, but by the time she’s wandering off to an air-conditioned van for reasons unknown to even her closest friends you’ve had a full buffet of the Abrasive-AF Shannon Beador Experience.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Not that I’d want to share a suite with fuckin’ Emily Simpson can you imagine she probably reeks of Shane.

Tamra

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Ah, good old permadrunk shit-stirring Tamra. Crack open another cold one and get the game of telephone moving.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – I get Tamra’s frustrations with Shannon but that’s just the price you pay to consort with greatness hun xx.

Vicki

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How on brand was Vicki this episode? Coming down with a mysterious hot flash AND a mysterious face rash. Happily bogarting Shannon’s attentions. Delivering an endless rant about her romantic life to a random bewildered bartender (God bless you Trishauna!). Never change Vicki Gunvalson (not that you’re remotely capable of change but yknow figure of speech).

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Okay so who sprayed Vicki in the face with holy water?

3 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E13

  1. Loved the dichotomy of the ultra-positive Vicki edit and the “Shannon is an actual demon from hell” edit.

    Also greatly appreciated the pairs being mixed up. It really showed how amazing the chemistry is between The Core Four that they can all provide amazing footage no matter who they’re filming with.

    1. Yeah, this may not be the most lit season ever but I’d still gladly sit through any interaction between these four women they’re all queens. And Gina is good too. …that is all 🙂

  2. “I have a rash I’ve never had a rash! I have a rash I’ve never had a rash I have a rash I’ve never had a rash I have a rash I’ve never had a rash!”

    Seriously, the OC core four crack me up. I know some viewers have been calling for RHOC to be scrapped, but I would honestly miss those dorks.

    Also love how the Jamaicans have embraced the OC women and seem genuinely entertained by their antics. And I have something nice to say about Emily: she has the most amazing curvy body in a swimsuit. Like, she is gorgeous. So why is she giving us nothing? Why is she just giving us… Shane? lol.

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