💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E11

hope you’re noticing a very key detail in the above tablescape.

Tamra

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Tamra shepherding Shannon through a minefield of her own neuroses is always welcome.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  Glad she went to Philly; Shannon is more important than Eddie. I mean he probably wooon’t die anyway so.

Vicki

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Would you rather:

(a) ride 13 miles on a motorcycle with a screeching Vicki Gunvalson clinging to your torso;

(b) have your first one-on-one sitdown after announcing your divorce be with Vicki Gunvalson as she rattles off grim facts about insurance costs; or

(c) take phone orders from Vicki Gunvalson for QVC products?

Death is not an option, so choose wisely.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  I for one vividly remember Briana discussing how divorce was the number one factor complicating her life.

Emily

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Her miscarriages are sad and all, but perhaps the lesson in all of this is uh not to try to have *additional children* *over the age of forty* *at the risk of bleeding to death from your womb* but hey that’s just me.

Rating: ⭐⭐ –  Here just watch this instead.

Gina

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You really gotta hand it to Gina; she’s roughly half Vicki’s age but can still handle her absolutely insane emotional terrorism. Call her the guidette version of MKE. (Uh, but with more compelling solo footage. Sorry Meg.)

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  Love the ‘rents. Hook me up with Gino’s ’70s hand-me-downs, Gina.

Kelly

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Bless Kelly’s heart for supporting her daughter’s lameoid dork ambitions. Not everyone can be a Sophia Barney.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  The blazer’s a liiil Barbara Bush though honestly.

Shannon

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Ugh these QVC frumps. Who doesn’t want Shannon Beador crosstalk interrupting unrelated television programs? Annnyway I am as happy about Shannon’s overwhelmingly anxious presence being broadcast to a whole new audience as I am about her imminently dethroning Lean Cuisine as the prime purveyor of odd-tasting meals that inevitably leave you eating an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers ninety minutes later.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  I for one was mesmerized watching Shannon lay out the scores of pills she takes on a weekly basis. If cream cheese-stuffed salmon doesn’t work out she should start hawking supplements.

4 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E11

  1. I, too, noticed the key citrus detail in the QVC tablescape. As a lifelong watcher of QVC with my mother (I stopped watching for my own amusement when Joan Rivers died), I appreciate their eye for detail with regard to set dressings.

    I’ve got some random thoughts about this season that my room temperature chardonnay compels me to share, and those thoughts are… unwell.

    One, Gino is kind of a DILF.
    Two, loving Gina even though she hasn’t got a thing to do. (Looking like Music-era Madonna helps endear her to my late 90s/early aughts teen-aged gay boy heart.)
    Three, I’m officially tired of Shannon.
    Four, and perhaps most frighteningly, I was substantially more entertained by this point last season than I am this season. Kudos to Tamra, though; homegirl might be the greatest monster of all time but she’s putting in work.

    1. It’s a reboot season to me, like S9–taking some time to adjust to a new equilibrium. Last season had higher highs at the beginning and end but nothing remotely as bad as last season’s solo footage has afflicted us this year (minus Emily and Shane ofc).

  2. 9 lemons in a bowl! I just saw it. The influence of Shannonsus is everywhere!

    I really liked this episode, not for any one reason, I just felt particularly endeared by the women all supporting Shannon in their way, either at QVC or at the viewing party. Kelly seemed especially chuffed for her, and that made me like her all over again! Honestly, Kelly is glowing this season. Plus she wears the shit out of her fashion.

    Also growing on me? Gina (or Stevie Nicks with those hats). She is very articulate for a HW in the way she expresses her situation and feelings to the women and the audience. This girl knows herself. I don’t think there is any secret behind the divorce, except possibly that it was decided over a year ago but they stayed officially married for the sake of landing this RHOC gig.

    Budget Jeana can go. Physically and on paper she should be a shoo-in for a RH franchise, but personality-wise there is none of the oomph or fabulousness that her lush looks might promise.

    1. Gina’s the Shannon, Emily’s the Lizzie. Glad one of them worked out, and I’ll be thrilled to see the back of Shabe (ideally pursued by Kelly who, yes, is the MVP this year, sailour outfits and all).

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