I hope you’re noticing a very key detail in the above tablescape.
Tamra shepherding Shannon through a minefield of her own neuroses is always welcome.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Glad she went to Philly; Shannon is more important than Eddie. I mean he probably wooon’t die anyway so.
Would you rather:
(a) ride 13 miles on a motorcycle with a screeching Vicki Gunvalson clinging to your torso;
(b) have your first one-on-one sitdown after announcing your divorce be with Vicki Gunvalson as she rattles off grim facts about insurance costs; or
(c) take phone orders from Vicki Gunvalson for QVC products?
Death is not an option, so choose wisely.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – I for one vividly remember Briana discussing how divorce was the number one factor complicating her life.
Her miscarriages are sad and all, but perhaps the lesson in all of this is uh not to try to have *additional children* *over the age of forty* *at the risk of bleeding to death from your womb* but hey that’s just me.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – Here just watch this instead.
You really gotta hand it to Gina; she’s roughly half Vicki’s age but can still handle her absolutely insane emotional terrorism. Call her the guidette version of MKE. (Uh, but with more compelling solo footage. Sorry Meg.)
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Love the ‘rents. Hook me up with Gino’s ’70s hand-me-downs, Gina.
Bless Kelly’s heart for supporting her daughter’s lameoid dork ambitions. Not everyone can be a Sophia Barney.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – The blazer’s a liiil Barbara Bush though honestly.
Ugh these QVC frumps. Who doesn’t want Shannon Beador crosstalk interrupting unrelated television programs? Annnyway I am as happy about Shannon’s overwhelmingly anxious presence being broadcast to a whole new audience as I am about her imminently dethroning Lean Cuisine as the prime purveyor of odd-tasting meals that inevitably leave you eating an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers ninety minutes later.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – I for one was mesmerized watching Shannon lay out the scores of pills she takes on a weekly basis. If cream cheese-stuffed salmon doesn’t work out she should start hawking supplements.