No episode of Dallas is complete without a…kangaroo right? Also I chose this week’s header image solely because I died as Stephanie’s dog wildly pawed in the background while the models were taking their shirts off.
1. Callie-roo. I know this was a dumb stunt just to make things more exciting but it worked! Yes, please give me a tiny little baby kangaroo hopping around in a diaper in every single television show. Plus then we got LeeAnne’s thinking face as she was certain it was illegal to own. I did about 3 minutes worth of googling and it does seem you can have one in Texas, so points to that veneered weirdo.
2. Cary. Her complete flip to constantly calling out everything said behind people’s backs is one of my favourite character progressions I can think of. I died when she called over Stephanie because Kameron mentioned her name and thus she was now a part of it. She also echoed my thoughts on that kangaroo owner.
3. Unicorn bank. D’andra has fucking lost it and I love it. Her confessional holding up her piggy bank with $200 and slamming LeeAnne’s $4 extensions was a delightful step into petty. She’s going bonkers about LeeAnne and Rich’s relationship and it looks like things are about to get real lit next week on that front.
4. Fingers. The Cary/Kameron exchange was pretty low-key but funny nonetheless. Cary looked like she got dipped into the same self-tanner vat that Stephanie hit up for D’andra’s anniversary party earlier and it was really contrasted against super pale Kameron. I don’t really know how Kameron picks her battles but they are all pretty dumb and harmless, between this and the baby bashing. It was hilarious when she justified her finger pointing because she was pointing it lower, though.
5. Sociopathticles. Watching Brandi’s face darken at her own launch because Cary was (barely) throwing her under the buss for some dumb shit about fake balls really highlighted her evil. The unsuspecting viewer might see Brandi as fun/immature but harmless, but just watch how she drops into a fugue state the minute someone doesn’t back her completely and tries to hold her accountable for her actions.
6. Growing friendships. Leelee and Stephanie continue to bond and I’m hopeful of where it’s leading us. Three seasons into Dallas now and these ladies have done an amazing job of flipping allegiances at a whim and keeping things interesting. I don’t think LeeAnne and Stephanie will be a lasting alliance since LeeAnne is honestly bound to fuck it up by season’s end, but I appreciate the fresh configuration.
1. Brandiland by Alene Too. As all of the ladies were sent off to change into some Brandiland couture I couldn’t help but think that she is trying to usurp Kyle’s muumuu game. Her’s are a bit nicer but overall I can’t be a human purchasing Brandiland clothing. Those “wife, mom, boss” shirts are awful too.
2. Birkin raincoat. What can I say? I didn’t find that cute. I actually enjoyed the tour of Stephanie’s insanely ostentatious bathroom (who am I turning into???) because it was just so over the top. But watching another woman coo over another boring Birkin is never going to win me over.