I wonder if I can donate all my dirty dishes to one of these anger rooms in lieu of washing them. Now there’s an eco-friendly solution to life’s worst problem.
1. Intimate wedding. I guffawed when LeeAnne suggested a wedding guest list of 500-1000 people. Then I realized that would probably leave room for us Bitchy Witches to snag a table and immediately became supportive.
2. Chateau Simmons. The question I’m sure we were all debating after this week’s episode had to be “is D’Andra actually broke?” My take: D’Andra is not broke in the way us mere mortals view brokeness. She has five bank accounts and apparently they only let you open those up if you have money. I think D’Andra likes to shop (remember her closet scenes last season?) and throw lavish parties and that cuts into her personal funds. Her uncle was a billionaire but how much of that trickled down to her personally is unknown, but I have no doubt that there is money in the family and Dee has done everything in her power to limit D’Andra’s access to it. That being said, she definitely only had $200 in her bank account because that reaction was way too strong for it to be a lie.
3. Snitches get injectables. It seems that Mark may have taken a step back this season and sadly Cary is worthless on this show without Mark around to be a creepy jerk. However, I appreciate her revelation that not spreading around all the shit-talking people do about others hurt her last season so now she’s committed to blabbing it all. It makes absolutely zero sense, of course, but it keeps the action moving and gives her something to do so I’m supportive.
3. Afterschool smash-up. LeeAnne trying to gravely explain the seriousness of what they were about to do in The Anger Room was next level absurd. The costume to demonstrate how they are all faking it to Dallas society was perfection. Like yes LeeAnne tell me more about this surface level bullshit. Also we got a flashback to the Honest-tea which was an all time great episode.
4. Kam vs. Brandi. I love this duo constantly getting under each other’s skin. Obviously I’m team Kam even though I normally hate prudes, but I do respect how they both manage to keep the feud alive. These are just two absolute polar sides of the spectrum who are never going to see eye to eye. At least Kam is two for two now this season as far as making Brandi cry. The revenge for chocolate dildo continues.
1. Children. Man, Brandi’s home life is right on par with Gina’s from the OC as far as triggering my exact mental image of my own personal hellscape. A bunch of mouthy brats running around while the husband is MIA, although this time now with the fun bonus of social workers making sure you’re not selling your new baby into a red-headed sex slavery ring.
2. Speaking of keeping up appearances. I don’t know if it’s fair to put this as a low because I zoned out through the whole Hollman charitable good rich people scene. Trickle down economics works! You could one day make boujee lockers and get some free college for all your efforts. Stephanie is getting a stellar edit this season but can we get back to her being an evil mastermind? Thanks.