💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E08

Hello and welcome to the best RHOC episode since 2016! For the sake of their own health, those with atrial fibrillation are advised to put on the most ridiculous outfit they can bear to be seen in.

Gina

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Did I not tell you we’d never see Mr. Kirschensheiteshleißersber’s face? Vicki had to tilt that shit out of frame for legal reasons let it be known.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  Thank GOD for someone delivering us a one-season, self-contained breakup narrative. Excited for the divorcee Gina season next year; it’s certainly suited…well, all these other ladies.

Kelly

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An all-time great performance from—I’m gonna say it now—one of the all-time greats. I can barely outline for you what the Steve Lodge/Kelly Dodd conflict even entails (although of course I love me some toxic social media bullshit

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I mean come on I’m not made of stone) but the results gave us the best RHOC scene in aaaages. I credit the editors for taking the last few weeks to build up Shane Simpson as the unsettlingly misogynistic closet case of a weasel/naked mole rat that he is, because it made it all the more satisfying when Kelly Dodd met him, immediately forgot who he was, took aim at him for being a meddling dork/twerp/little bitch, then informed Emily that wow I’m sorry I didn’t even realize that was your husband but nevertheless he is a piece of shit. Destroy him the world is rooting for you.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  I hope we all appreciated the dual callbacks to the peanut gallery and a-and-b conversations.

Shannon

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Shannon’s probably at her best when she’s an absurd emotionally unstable mess (cf. “this was one of the hardest weeks in my divorce”) who is nevertheless self-aware enough to own up to her flaws. It doesn’t hurt the equation when she’s also up in there subtly stirring shit up (cf. “well, I’m direct, and so are you…”).

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  On that note, let us praise the delightful union of Kelly Dodd and Shannon Beador, somewhat akin to the union of explosive metal sodium and poisonous gas chlorine producing tasty table salt.

Tamra

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This was a delicious slice of everything we love about Tamra. It started with her shit-stirring Shannon drama, proceeded into the immense sexual tension between her and her husband *and* her son, and concluded with her tearily recounting Eddie’s demanding answers from ***HER*** GOD over the telephone(!!!). Not older, just bolder.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  I liked her stripey shirt suck it haters!

Vicki

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Can we have Tamra and Vicki drunk in each other’s presence 24/7 please? Their pestering Steve about how he owes Vicki marriage in exchange for all the oral was the most interesting Mr. Lodge has ever been.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  So happy that she’s found her George Clooney.

Emily

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Emily is still ridiculous/weird/frumpy/awful but fiiinally her weird-ass marriage is producing dividends. Shane may be the unholy offspring of Diko Sulahian and Josh Taekman, but at least his nauseating existence and Emily’s inexplicably fanatical attachment to him are paying off.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – “Snarkasm” tho…miss us with it thanks.

9 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Orange County, S13E08

  1. Scenes of Gina’s home life are officially all the birth control I need.

    GREAT Tamra ep. That drunken shit-stirring at the beginning followed by drunken Steve-stirring was hilarious.

    And of course, yes, you’re right. Kelly is truly becoming a legend. An icon. And this time it’s actually righteous. Yes Kelly, shout down all the misogynistic little trolls in your path. I don’t like Steve either so sure, troll him too.

    1. I thought I liked Steve! Turns out I was just dazzled by the wonder of Vicki somehow landing a fairly normal dude. Sadly most normal dudes suck in the end.

      1. He’s definitely not bad in a virulently awful Shane sort of way but considering Vicki’s history is Brooks and Donn…yeah it’s a downgrade. He’s just a stuffy fuddy duddy and Vicki needs someone fun.

  2. I know she’s only been on for almost three seasons, but I can’t wait for “The Essential Kelly Dodd” post!!

    As well as the “Essential Lisa Rinna” one… 😉

  3. For awhile now I’ve had the sense that Kelly was weirdly underappreciated, including by myself; I just don’t think of her at first when I think of the big, legendary names in Real Housewives. I guess for me it’s probably something to do with her coming late into such an expansive franchise which also is the one that cycles through newbies the most. Either way, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s starting to really appreciate Kelly Dodd. She’s by far my favorite member of the cast and imo the true savior of RHOC <3

    1. Yeah, I was blown away how much I adored Kelly from her very first season, honestly. I know she’s had a mixed reaction from people over time, and she definitely seemed like someone I could take or leave from afar, but the absurdly messy reality of her just really SPEAKS to me. When she’s good she’s good, and when she’s bad she’s better. Love someone who can really go IN and take things SUPER far, but still recover and be super likable in between (see also Dorinda).

  4. I know everyone is talking about Kelly (and for good reason) but let it be known I was enthralled by Tamra this entire episode, especially her attempts at fake crying with Shannon <3

    I'm also kind of ironically appreciating Emily? Every solo scene with her feels beyond staged/scripted it almost makes me smile now but she's just kind of…. awkward? I think she only works if all the housewives are dumping on her husband and by association her. Gina I want to like more than I do but I think she's a solid addition with continued room to grow into her role.

    1. This was a definite return to form for Tamra and I hope it continues.

      Yes Emily is good as a presence even I don’t particularly care for her. It feels like Peggy 2.0, really…you’re clearly not long for this world, but at least you’re a good/weird piñata.

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