Wednesdays are too stacked! Dallas is a gift. Let’s dive in.
1. Queen Stephanie. Is this the season I learn to love Stephanie? I’m all about her befriending LeeAnne as a total Tamra move. Her drunken antics at the anniversary party were charming and relatable. She now has a sympathetic suicide attempt storyline to humanize her and bond with LeeAnne. And finally her ability to improv at the baby shower and lie about her surrogate were top notch. Bring on more of this Stephanie, I’m ready.
2. Dee-nied. Speaking of people I’m ready for more of. Dee in the scene with D’Andra was an absolute nightmare and therefore amazing. Refusing to free up her salary so that the company can’t afford to do anything is a brilliant move. Then things twisted into passive aggressive insinuations about jealousy
3. Unbeweavable. Sorry for the throwback to that hacky joke (which actually was the name of a notorious wig shifting ATL episode) but damn did LeeAnne get some sort of discount on a life’s supply of hair extensions and decide to use it up all at once? That hair is a lot. That hair is significant. It’s also very autumnal in colour and making me hanker for a pumpkin spice latte. Keep on keeping on, LeeAnne. Texas is all about the big hair, I guess.
1. Tongued out. Speaking in tongues will never not make me uncomfortable, sorry if I’m insulting your religion. It’s creepy and inappropriate. Why couldn’t Stephanie be borne of a couple nice Rajneeshees who fuck and take drugs and engage in some casual warfare instead?
2. Champagne wall. I love French Champagne™ by Jackie Gillies but a wall of champagne is just impractical. Champagne should be ice cold and as bubbly as possible, not sitting out on some wall to get warm and flat. If only the Hollmans had kept the pool they could have filled it with champagne and it would have been equally drinkable but at least a really unforgettable party feature.