Highs and Lows: Bubbles and Brooding – RHOD

Wednesdays are too stacked! Dallas is a gift. Let’s dive in.

Highs:

1. Queen Stephanie. Is this the season I learn to love Stephanie? I’m all about her befriending LeeAnne as a total Tamra move. Her drunken antics at the anniversary party were charming and relatable. She now has a sympathetic suicide attempt storyline to humanize her and bond with LeeAnne. And finally her ability to improv at the baby shower and lie about her surrogate were top notch. Bring on more of this Stephanie, I’m ready.

2. Dee-nied. Speaking of people I’m ready for more of. Dee in the scene with D’Andra was an absolute nightmare and therefore amazing. Refusing to free up her salary so that the company can’t afford to do anything is a brilliant move. Then things twisted into passive aggressive insinuations about jealousy

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3. Unbeweavable. Sorry for the throwback to that hacky joke (which actually was the name of a notorious wig shifting ATL episode) but damn did LeeAnne get some sort of discount on a life’s supply of hair extensions and decide to use it up all at once? That hair is a lot. That hair is significant. It’s also very autumnal in colour and making me hanker for a pumpkin spice latte. Keep on keeping on, LeeAnne. Texas is all about the big hair, I guess.

Lows:

1. Tongued out. Speaking in tongues will never not make me uncomfortable, sorry if I’m insulting your religion. It’s creepy and inappropriate. Why couldn’t Stephanie be borne of a couple nice Rajneeshees who fuck and take drugs and engage in some casual warfare instead?

2. Champagne wall. I love French Champagne™ by Jackie Gillies but a wall of champagne is just impractical. Champagne should be ice cold and as bubbly as possible, not sitting out on some wall to get warm and flat. If only the Hollmans had kept the pool they could have filled it with champagne and it would have been equally drinkable but at least a really unforgettable party feature.

 

 

7 thoughts on “Highs and Lows: Bubbles and Brooding – RHOD

  1. A red wine wall would work just saying. Well until everyone is super emotionally reminiscing about lost love WHATEVER the point stands.

    I too am blindsided by this new and good Stephanie. She seems to be intent on stealing Brandi’s absurd LeeAnne friendship storyline from last year but doing it right this time. Works for me!

  2. Dallas is such an incredible franchise I think really anyone in the cast could carry an episode largely revolving around them. Let it be known that I lived for Pink Detective Kameron and Stephanie’s impromptu improv.

  3. QUEEN STEPHANIE. She was the lowkey mastermind of S2 and now she uses her powers to rise to the top in S3. Funfact: her and LeeAnne are legit good friends now which bodes well for the rest of the season.

    1. A LeeAnne with Stephanie has to be a LeeAnne on top because I don’t see her allowing them to be ostracized. I’m excited for this dynamic! After that crushing reunion she needed a break.

  4. Anybody here ever watch daytime soaps once upon a time? Well, D’Andra Simmons’s storyline is straight out of classic Y&R with their battling cosmetic giants. D’Andra clashing with Dee over Ultimate Living and the green potion thingy is like Ashley Abbott clashing with the Wicked Witch of the West. This is the kind of business shenanigans that Y&R has failed to deliver for years! I love D’Andra trying to get rid of Dee’s core customer base and replacing it with a new YOUNGER clientele, so Dee hits D’Andra with some “You’re jealous because I am a natural beauty” truth. Dallas may be the lowest-rated Real Housewives show, but as far as I am concerned, it is the top-rated soap!

    Beaver Creek (which sounds like a location straight out of The Bold & The Beautiful btw) is going to be a wannabe Bezerkshires. Looks like the producers told Kameron she better bring it this season and get messy.

    1. J’Abot could never compete with Ultimate Living. I’d also love a twist where D’Andra breaks off and creates her own competing cosmetics company a la Kendall Hart and Erica Kane on All My Children.

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