Hello, Dallas Taglines

Ranked below the fold, por supuesto.

6. CaryWhen life gets messy, just build a bigger closet!

Cary over here cementing herself as the Gollum version of Heather Dubrow. P.S. closet references maybe aren’t such a smart idea for you after Mark’s S2.

5. LeeAnne: You don’t mess with Texas, and you don’t mess with me.

A disappointingly generic tagline from the Queen of Dallas, but there’s still that underlying menace that sells it, because this tagline doubles as a legitimate warning to protect you from being impaled on flying stemware.

4. StephanieInvesting in drama is not in my budget.

I get that this is supposed to be an I’m Rich tagline, but doesn’t this imply that she’s not that rich? Drama is only as expensive as the cost of Evil Stephanie makeup for half your face.

3. Kameron: I’ve got heels that are higher than your standards.

I’m still not even sure that this one makes sense but I very much support the continued Legally Blondeness of Mrs. Westcott.

2. D’Andra: Running a family business is a job for one tough mother.

Ah, yes, but which?

1. Brandi: This isn’t my first rodeo, so I’m not taking your bull.

This really feels like more of a LeeAnne tagline, but I guess she’s already had her turn with a bull metaphor. Grats, Brandi.

6 thoughts on “Hello, Dallas Taglines

  1. I’m obsessed with Kameron in general, but I really can’t get over the way she says “standurds”

    None of these really wowed me, but I did lol at the stilted delivery of D’Andra’s sounding like it was spliced from four different takes <3

    1. Probably because of the time she went on Instagram Live and reamed out the producers for not getting her an Uber

  2. Not to drag Dallas’ intro (because we all know Bravo isn’t really giving them a huge budget supposedly) but the audio mixing is messy af. Did they record these taglines on a quick Skype call? I can’t. The way the lines are said so slowly and oddly spaced out too.
    Also disappointed they are re-using the same intro looks from before.Like, they got a nice new promo pic, could they not get a new intro look?
    The taglines as whole were just slightly above Cheshire standard, so overall: meh.

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