First Contact: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 1

Is everyone ready to relive the epic tale of DeShawn Snow and Lisa Wu Hartwell???

DeShawn

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Main Storyline: Her husband plays…a sport…and…has to retire from it…? Also she hires household staff it’s all very exciting.

Pros: Most disastrous Housewives event in history The Night of a Thousand Stars, a charity gala through which DeShawn aimed to raise a million dollars, but couldn’t even auction off a day with LeBron and ultimately drummed up a cool $0.

Cons: DeShawn is remembered as an infamous one-and-done bore for a reason. Her storylines are dull, she acts like a child playing grown-up, she’s a pious bore who attends a megachurch…I think it says it all that, had she made it to S2, her storyline would have been pursuing Masters in Divinity at an online college.

Kim

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Main Storyline: Kim wants to be a singer. The rest is history.

Pros: I can’t stop caterwauling “Tightrope” in my best-worst Kim voice, and yet even trying to sing as poorly as she I’m not sure I can equal her exquisite talentlessness?!

Cons: Kim is maybe the most disgusting person I’ve seen on any of these shows (I just marathoned a dozen years of Vicki Gunvalson, mind), and I love it. I could watch her leech money from the mysterious Big Poppa, drink white wine in her convertible, and chain-smoke cigs from her fridge alllll daaaay loooong.

Lisa

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Main Storyline: Her husband is recovering from a…football…? injury? And she’s a realtor…I think.

Pros: Less boring than DeShawn? Honestly her anti-Kim reunion screed is the only good thing I can think of, and it was very good! But other than that my God.

Cons: Let’s put it this way: the lived experience of Jeana Keough didn’t exactly get me revved up for a deeper exploration of the real estate world.

NeNe

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Main Storyline: “Taking a DNA” to learn her real parentage; being subjected to the machinations of two-headed demon Kim and Shereé.

Pros: I have to give credit to NeNe for sharing her journey toward discovering that her father is not, in fact, her biological father. It was a legitimately emotional storyline and I always admire a Housewife who’ll really go for it with the raw and real stuff right on camera.

Cons: Otherwise NeNe mildly annoys me already! The mitigating factor is that most of her disdain is targeted at Kim, who deserves to be shit on more than maybe any other living human, but even so.

Shereé

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Main Storyline: Commencing work on She by Shereé, which will be out in the world by Fall 2009.

Pros: Watching Shereé’s plan to pry Kim from NeNe through insincere flattery succeed flawlessly because, well, it’s Kim, is truly a beautiful experience. Other than that I also very much enjoy her endlessly microaggressing (well, not so micro if we’re honest) her various hirelings.

Cons: One could argue that throwing a fashion show without any, uh, actual fashions is a negative, but fortunately our Shereé is an enterprising person.

Next time: Kim’s wig requires some adjustment.

6 thoughts on “First Contact: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 1

  1. Enjoy Atlanta! One of my absolute favorite franchises and easily the most cutthroat, lethal cast in the Housewives ‘verse. I wouldn’t want to be left in a room alone with literally 90% of the RHOA cast, but I think that’s a testament to how good the show is.

    DeShawn and Lisa are the worst RHOA has to offer. The type of boring that you can’t even find ironically entertaining, especially when you’re on the hunt for some sweet sweet Kim/Sheree screentime.

    Enjoy Kim while you can before she meets Kroy and evaporates from the show mid-argument. I love the revelation that RHOA was supposed to be an exclusively black cast and they went against that just for Kim, because she truly does elevate the show and brings it to glory in those early seasons. S2 is peak Zolciak for me and a true display of all of her worst traits.

    This is also NeNe’s only “real” season before she realized she was a fan favo and becomes a true monster, so be prepared for that. And Sheree only gets better and better <3

    1. Yesss I just learned that Kim factoid! It makes perfect sense. No producer or casting agent in their right mind would pass up the chance to film the glorious nightmare that is Ms. Zolciak.

  2. Atlanta 1 is pretty solid! I think it’s overrated by a lot of the fanbase but it’s a nice easy breezy sort of season that has a fun conflict and a great reunion. Kim and Sheree basically carry the whole season but they’re good enough to do that and NeNe is at her most likable when she attacks someone like Kim but her ego and frankly, bullying tactics will never make me like her.

    I think Atlanta 2 and Atlanta 3 build on this season for clear improvement <3

  3. Imagine, if you will, someone just starting to go through the Real Housewives franchise after being introduced to them through Melbourne – they’ve heard good things about Atlanta, so they decide to check it out! It even starts in a similar way, with someone new to the city being introduced to all the wonderful rich women in it! Surely, this DeShawn Snow will be just as exciting and interesting as Jackie Gillies, he thinks!

    And then she the rest of her footage is about hiring and firing servants.

    1. Love to watch DeShawn Snow glower at house manager candidates for not Googling her ~extremely famous~ family.

  4. I know that nobody on this earth cares about her, but I loved Lisa Wu Hartwell. Underrated shitstirrer, in a cast that wasn’t entirely focused on the three juggernauts of Kim, NeNe and Sheree she could’ve been great. She knew what she was doing when she outed the limo song about Kim. Loved her goring Kim at the reunion in a desperate attempt at returning. I fully get why people found her boring though, her solo content was completely bland.

    Anyways NeNe is likable this season and that is the only time in this franchise I will praise her. She was great before the fame got to her, hope she quits again. Kim is great here, Sheree is a legend.

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