The hottest housewife in Orange County: slippery when wet.
I keep trying to mock Kelly for soliciting advice from her middle-school-age daughter, but then I remember that Jolie is definitely more intelligent than her. So…good thinking, Kell!
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Challenge: record the opening scene of dueling Kelly and Vicki screeches for use as your morning alarm.
I would one hundred percent watch a spinoff called Shannon Wears a Sombrero. She can mill awkwardly in an airport with a tray of tequila shots in a sombrero. She can offer a heartfelt confession about her love life in a sombrero. She can “skinny dip” in Spanx in a sombrero. The woman is the fucking Meryl Streep of sombreros.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – That this episode was the drunkest we’ve ever seen Shannon Beador is an awe-inspiring thought.
Reddit is all pissy that Tamra got so so so naked at the age of 50, she is a mother has she no self respect!!, etc., but bitches please if I look that good at 50 I’m chucking my clothes whenever I get the chance.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – We were all waiting, wincing, for Tamra’s injury; did anyone call “total naked wipeout on lineoleum” not being the cause of it?!
Puerto Vallarta is clearly the place where Vicki’s powers are at their greatest, which is why she travels there so frequently. I mean, I don’t know whether her feline familiar lives there or there’s a Hellmouth under it or what, but whenever she’s there she charms the pants off her friends, makes them forget her many past indiscretions, and winds up bonding with them on a deep emotional level. Actually scratch all that it’s probably just something the bartenders slip in the drinks at Andale’s.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Why do I suspect that the frantic airport employee who scooped Vicki and Shannon and a bunch of shattered glass off the ground has done this all before?
The natural pecking order was quite obvious this episode. The title says it all; this was about The Tres Amigas, with Kelly sneaking in with a little teary drama because that’s what Kelly does. And then there were these two, exercise and talking about their kids. Next.
Rating: ⭐ – WHEN is Vicki gonna start terrorizing one or both of these ladies? Tapping my foot…