Finally we have arrived in Colombia. This week we see what happens before the ship sinks.
1. Cheers etiquette. It was a quick moment and you might have missed it, but Ramona demanded Carole look her in the eyes when she cheersed her. Carole told her it was creepy. I personaly could not think of anything less creepy than staring into Ramona Singer’s eyes even though I would likely be absorbed inside of her from their gravitational pull. Her introduction to the chef was great as well, managing to make a food request and give herself a compliment about her agelessness all in one is a skill.
2. Wheeling around. Uh, god bless Ramona? Physical comedy is a bit rare on Real Housewives other than Vicki Gunvalson, Luann in the bushes, or a variety of people recovering from plastic surgery. Ramona got it right with the wheelchair, though. Every single moment of her being carted around in it, to dropping it off when they got to the bar because she just didn’t feel comfortable in it was perfection.
3. Red scarf hysteria. Alright let me say this first: yes of course Bethenny is right. I wouldn’t trust a single man willing to be filmed for RHONY or any real housewife franchise as having pure intentions. That being said, she was a grade A cunt about it. Think about it, she’s already got in deep with this Adam operator business, and now she’s cutting down the new guy that Carole likes. Her whole presence this episode was intensely jagged and the way she got into it with Carole at dinner was…
4. Delivery. Luann may have thought those flowers look like a funeral display but I thought it was so quintessential Tinsley. It looked like one of those dumb promposal kind of things kids do these days which makes total sense since Tinsley is a teenager trapped in a 41 year old body.
5. No fucks. Dorinda taking a fake phone call while Bethenny tried to ream her out was great. She is well beyond cowtowing to B and wasn’t going to give her an inch. Bless her for repeating what she said for that is why we watch this show.
1. Vacation at Tiffany’s. Giving the ladies personalized Tiffany’s necklaces may have been genius to avoid the room selection fight, but it was bad for tv. We were robbed from seeing Ramona break character as “woman with a sprained ankle” and run from her whelchair perfectly fine to go piss on the best room. Oh also it’s one of those disgusting wealth displays that makes me want to destroy the world.
2. Allergic overreaction. Some of this may be a response to things read elsewhere and not the episode directly. No it is not Ramona’s responsibility to remember Bethenny’s allergy to fish. No she didn’t purposefully poison her with the soup, no matter how badly I wish she did. And acting like you are so adverse to medicine that you can’t even pop a fucking Benadryl is typical Bethenny histrionics. That cut to her rolling around on the bathroom floor and everyone else giving no shits? Same.
3. Negativity personified. I can’t imagine going on a trip with Bethenny because she is a literal dementor sucking the fun and joy so hard it is even happening to me through my television screen. I rolled my eyes right out of my head during hers and Carole’s squabble when she tried to act like saying “it’s not that deep” is too hip for a 50 something woman, because uh…it’s fucking BETHENNY who constantly does that shit. Also for someone who supposedly is so “real” and pulled herself up from nothing, she’s a real snob about the accommodations. If she can’t stay in some sterile, character-less luxury villa she isn’t having it. I have no sympathy for her anxiety attack because almost all of her stress minus the Jason stuff is brought onto herself. Oh no you have to move from one luxurious apartment to another? Boohoo. Oh no you work too much? You’re worth a gajillion dollars – retire and never work again. Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! is basically where I’m at in my Bethenny viewing.