💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E14

Dear editors, we know it’s gonna be continued. Anyway…

Candiace

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Oh man, that tangent where Candiace tried to relate her absurd little story about being called Princess and everyone just laughed and laughed and laughed at her and you could hear the Kill Bill vengeance theme playing…such an iconic little bit of first-seasonry. Trust that you’ll be hearing about this in 2021 still.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  I like Chris, but I miss the alternate universe Candiace who throws a shit fit because her hotel balcony opens onto another building’s facade.

Gizelle

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THANK GOD Gizelle could get over her Monique hate boner for a minute so she could focus her shade on her rightful target, the Grand Dame. Haters hating fuels Karen’s greatness, there is no other purpose for a Gizelle Bryant on this Earth.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  “Thank you for the trip to Not for Lazy Moms” incoming.

Karen

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Karen’s perfume is American-made. Who cares what stage she’s in in developing it, what stage are you in developing your business? Her townhouse is adjacent to her actual house. Her husband doesn’t want to fuck anyone but her. Any questions? Keep hypothesizing, wenches.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  If Matt isn’t made to cower and beg for his life before Karificus’s wrath at the reunion I am rioting in the streets.

Monique

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I remain mesmerized by Mo’s natural Housewiving skills. Gizelle (of course) picking at her one ungracious move of the trip, upgrading to first class, somehow evolves into them sharing a teary moment about the challenges of being married to prominent men. Genius. Chills.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ –  Also, if you’re gonna be filthy rich on this show, this is exactly how you do it: showering your castmates with beautiful, well-thought-out gifts, all so you can hold your generosity over their heads and stunt on their broke asses. Heather Dubrow could never.

Robyn

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Like Robyn was gonna turn down a free trip to the French Riviera. She’d accept a free trip to Panama City, Florida.

Rating: ⭐⭐ –  An extra star because her presence in the episode was entirely limited to chronic RBF and being late for literally everything.

Ashley

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Ashley having a conduit to some twink who got Matt, Karen’s “Assistant” drunk at a gay bar and got him to spill that oh by the way Karen doesn’t really live in her house is exactly what I’m looking for from Ashley Darby, so kudos hon. Truly the Margaery Tyrell of Maryland.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ –  Please please please let this be the start of her dumping Michael arc.

2 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E14

  1. I LOVE Candiace, but I worry she might not come back for next season because sometimes she just seems sort of… there :/? I mean she has Karen’s endorsement so hopefully that counts for something but I fear for her future anyways.

    Gizelle is just an awful mean spirited person that I can’t even remotely enjoy (Aside from Karen trolling the shit out of her I guess) At least Robyn has the benefit of being a supporting cast member but I’m still praying she gets fired. Monique is a great housewife and I feel feeling protective of her. Especially since reddit has made her out to be the Erika Jayne of Potomac *eye roll*.

    I can’t wait for more Karen tea to be revealed at the reunion. I personally find her entire soap opera esque life built up to be utterly fascinating.

    1. Oh of course they hate Mo good Lord.

      I think Candiace is back for sure, though. She’s got a wedding coming up, she’s had a few fun scraps, and like…I doubt there are many equally entertaining people they could slot in in her place.

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