The Round-Up: Love and Marriage

Sure, it may feel like neither exists anymore now that the Bellinos are through, but carry on we must!

  • Love RHOA, but wish it had juuust a few more fake-ass fake relationships? Your wish is Porsha’s command. (Why the fuck did she get to go on The Love Connection, by the way? How dare they sully Ramona’s legacy.)
  • In other time-is-a-flat-circle news, Tinsley and Scott are through. Again. “‘Scott can’t let go of Tinsley emotionally,’ the source tells Us. ‘Tinsley is hanging on, hoping that Scott will agree to marry her.'” Boats against the current, y’all. We trust that they’ll make it work again somehow, if only for the kids.
  • But enough sad news! You’ll be happy to hear that Jill Zarin is dating again! This will definitely get her a season 11 apple, right? Right?? RIGHT?????
  • Okay so maybe you just found that news unsettling. Well here’s some unabashed good news: the beloved Giudices have escaped bankruptcy! …uhh but Joe kinda sorta might get deported to Italy now. Hmm never mind.
  • HEY MONIQUE’S PREGNANT surely that’s unabashed good news. Well, maybe Robyn and Gizelle don’t think so, but fortunately they don’t count! (I can neither confirm nor deny that one of my fellow Witches’ first reaction to this news was “guess she can’t drink ‘n’ drive for 9 months.”)

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