💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E11

It’s Karen Huger’s world; we’re all just funding her for-profit front organization to live in it.

Monique

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Don’t let Karen’s more direct weaponization of Sherman’s ex Kyndall distract you; Monique introducing her to this program at all in the first place was a typically straightforward yet clever piece of Monique strategy. You could practically hear the hashtag whenever she or Kyndall uttered the phrase “park after dark.”

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Loved seeing the Samuelses serve up Silex realness with their joint mani-pedis.

Robyn

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Oh, so we’re adding real estate footage to the already scintillating array of Robyn Dixon scenes. I see.

Rating: ⭐ – I’m open to the Green-Eyed Bandits’ Karen ambush being fun/funny, but since the producers cockblocked us with a To Be Continued for the 13th time this season we’ll simply have to play the waiting game on that one.

Ashley

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Hooooooly shit I’m so over the passive-aggression-laden Darby marriage. If you’re not gonna call your husband a fucking insane asshole please remove him from a position of prominence.

Rating: ⭐ – Had to appreciate Ashley immediately recognizing the full trolly scope of Kyndall’s presence at Karen’s event, I suppose. I imagine she was upset she didn’t think of it first.

Candiace

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I usually cannot stand wedding planning storylines, especially ones this prolonged, but God help me I’ll always be rapt to learn about the next aesthetic touch Candiace just absolutely has to have for her 400-500 guest wedding. Spring for the Chanel chairs, babe, you won’t regret it.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Tell me I’m not the only one who loved her elaborate muppet faces/baffled twirling upon learning of the tortured history behind the Kyndall/Sherman/Gizelle saga.

Gizelle

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Is Sherman’s surname MacGuffin? My God.

Rating: ⭐ – Seriously though what the fuck does this anti-Karen plan entail? It’s Karen. You’re gonna need tactical nukes at least.

Karen

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The ladies had Karen right they wanted her at one point, cornered on the obvious fabrications and tortured logic behind her paper empire and false Grand Dame crown. And at some point, Karen slipped out of their grasp and began effortlessly trolling them at every step. Inviting Kyndall to her event was such a sublimely elegant evil move, and, what’s more, throws up a cloud of drama that obscures her hoovering the money outta these women’s wallets and straight into her own. Masterful.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – That said, it’s all fun and games until someone at the IRS actually catches an episode of this show. (If the IRS still has any employees…)

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