The Round-Up: Cast Away

It’s a play on words, you see, for we have casting news, and we also wish Bethenny Frankel would be deposited at long last on a desert isle.

  • Hey Bethenny, guess who does support other women? Kelly Killoren Bensimon, por supuesto. We here at BDubs completely agree that Ramona’s skin care line (and business acumen in general) far outstrip anything Bethenny’s anorexia-swill empire has accomplished.
  • And while we’re on the case of Frankel V. Everyone on Earth: enjoy. (Unless you’re a Bethenny fan, in which case…why are you here?)
  • Oh and in case you wanted to personally own the location of such world historical events as The Ambush and The High Pony: Ramona’s iconic apartment is on the market for a mere $4.9 milli.
  • Fetty Wap celebrates Milania Giudice’s album release?” Sure, whatever, nothing makes sense anymore anyway.
  • Congrats to MKE, who has tripled her number of offspring! Can’t believe they’re denying us the entertainment of seeing this play out onscreen.
  • Has an OC Housewife’s light been snuffed out before it could even set her reputation aflame? Per reports, would be orange-holder Gina Kirschenheiter (and thank God I won’t have to memorize that spelling) turned out to be borezo, as Jackie Gillies might say, and furthermore wouldn’t expose her divorce to the cameras (also we already have two divorces playing out on this very same season sooo), and thus she has been retroactively demoted to Friend Of. That leaves us with just one new Housewife, “Emily Simpson,” and lemme tell you I went to grad school with an Emily Simpson and we can only hope that her Housewife counterpart turns out to be half as messy.
  • In the wake of Kenya’s devastating firing (/the reveal that she was already fired like months ago), we’ve officially got a new peach-holder: Miss Eva. Sorry to be a broken record about this, but much as we may love the Diva, we firmly believe that a fake baby beats a real one any day.
  • Finally, we’re heartened by rumors that we’ll soon be meeting the Real Housewives of San Antonio. As well-known worshippers of both the unjustly axed Miami and the unjustly underviewed Dallas, we can’t help but get excited about a Latina-centric franchise set in Tejas.

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