💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E10

If Karen’s constant abuse of Siri is what leads to AI destroying life on Earth it’ll have been worth it.

Karen

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Who among us hasn’t told Siri to text “YAY!” to a group thread, had it come out as “Yes,” and then proceeded never to correct the error? Technology is so confusing!!

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Karen asking birthday girl Gizelle where she was sitting at her own party was the Potomac pilot callback I never knew I wanted or gave a shit about, but here I am still kinda laughing my ass off.

Monique

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Oh man, how much was Ashley Darby kicking herself that she got scooped on the “Sherman got busted with a prostitute in a public park” gossip? That is like GOLD-STAR, DARBY-TRADEMARKED GOSSIP. Mo continues to impress.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – I’m actually a bit astounded what a clever bit of strategy it was to lock Charrisse down the way she has. When it comes to S3 storylines, Charrisse has somehow turned into the g-d One Ring.

Robyn

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Her litany of past pathetic Karen events was inspired, and the mere fact of her and Mo having competing events is very enjoyable. Other than that same old shit.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – Imagine you’re Juan Dixon, and you expect to fiiiinally escape your televised hell, even for the briefest period, by shooting the shit with another ex-NBA dude during a double date, and then immediately beforehand he dumps your ex’s awful friend and you have to have some awful Ethan Frome-esque moanfest with them for the rest of the evening. I’m not saying this to get you to empathize with him; feel free to laugh!

Ashley

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Okay so this whole prenup extension sitch is clearly premised wholly on Ashley wanting to save the divorce for an S5 storyline, right? Already expecting to link back to this post in 2020. Pulling that contract discussion shit on camera is very Ashley though and I applaud her for it.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – AW IF ONLY SHERMAN COULD HAVE COME, said Ashley Darby, once again deeply, earnestly, wanting the best for her friend.

Candiace

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Gizelle is still holding onto her Candiace shit? Girl we’ve all moved on. Glad Candiace shaded her about it, because duh? Would you rather go to a Gizelle party or be Candiace. Question really does answer itself.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Poor, dear girl; you’re never gonna impress your mom until you prove you can source L22 in a timely manner.

Gizelle

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I’m amazed that the Sherman Saga is set to consume all of Gizelle’s solo time this year, but (a) what the hell else is she gonna offer up, I suppose, and (b) I’m already vibrating in anticipation of QUEEN KYNDALL. No I don’t think she’ll be anything special(l) really but I’ll never tire of people lining up to clown Gizelle’s smug ass.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – WHAT is it with this show and vampire facials? I feel like I’ve seen them in every franchise, and it seems both SO obviously fraudulent and SO unnecessarily grotesque that I’m fascinated that so many women are convinced to go through with it. Elizabeth Bathory is alive and well in the year of our Lord 2018.

2 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E10

  1. Ashley has so many shades of Tamra in her housewiving that I’m nostalgic. Although she’ll never quite do it like Tamra, but THAT’S MY OPINIONNNNNNNNNNNNN.

    Yes, bring on QUEEN KYNDALL, who seems kinda thirsty and eager to fight Gizelle verbally but will hopefully give this women more a focus on the show rather “Where is my boyfriend who has only filmed a few scenes with that I expect viewers to care about?” in conjunction with mean girl type shade.

    1. In marathoning RHOC, the two most salient parallels I’ve seen to currently airing Housewives are Tamra/Ashley (good!) and (S9) Dubrow/Bethenny (…not…so good).

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