Charrisse watch: her Potomac connections saved Houston, y’all.
A mid-dye-job meltdown is something, I guess, I mean at least she’s putting in some effort. All the same I maintain that Gizelle’s another Sonja or Kenya whose relationships feel fake as fuck, minus any of the consummately professional panache those ladies bring to their gambits.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – Robyn may be built like a linebacker, but I think Mo could take her, personally.
Not much Karen this week but whatever whenever she speaks I laugh so. Watch out for her assiduous grooming of Mo and Candiace; as disastrous a season as this is for her in terms of her entire universe collapsing on camera, I suspect she’s already building a sound strategy for the reunion and beyond so sleep on Mme. Huger at your own risk.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Am I mistaken or did Karen’s “security” consist of the same squat elderly woman in charge of valet parking?
I by no means condone classism, yet I could only gasp in admiration at “so you can turn around and sue me and have all your dreams come true.” My personal Housewives rulebook says that you’re allowed to throw whatever shit you want to at someone if they antagonize you first, so have at it, Monique. Also she personally saved Houston. No I won’t extend this same grace to Bethenny Frankel why do you ask.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Now that Monique’s gotten a little physical violence out of her system, I hope she can return to a more strategic plan of attack on the crusty old bitches (NOT Karen!) of this cast. I believe in you, Mo! Take ’em down and give their spots to Charrisse and Kyndall!
As ever, I was offended at Robyn’s willingness to cackle her ass off at other people’s personal issues, then whine and mope about their bringing up her own. Then the medium came and ehhhh yeah I don’t wanna touch the pathos of that. I tend to roll with psychic shit on this show (Jackie Gillies absolutely is in regular dialogue with Princess Diana) but I could have given the Dixons this reading myself just through having watched the show, and their being completely sold on it nevertheless was…IDK it made me feel a certain way. Also I was talking about this with the other Witches and we just can’t fuck with the pathos of AIDS deaths; too real, show, too real.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – Oh my God though that little coda where Robyn was like “this really makes me rethink our relationship” GIRL STOP ENOUGH.
I can’t tell whether Ashley’s gotten more smug and mean or I’m just annoyed because she’s turning her provocations on people I like rather than geriatric grannies. Either way, she literally only had like two scenes so what am I supposed to work with regardless.
Rating: ⭐⭐ – I’m glad Mo immediately saw through her apology. Ashley simply had nooo idea that it was foolish to tell Robyn about Monique’s drinking? Yuh huh.
“So I neglected to mention Chris’s entire other child” was a very funnay and spicy reveal, good job Candi! I rarely care thaaat much about wedding planning storylines but this one has kept me at least somewhat interested, if only because, again, I am positive there’s something Off about Chris that will blow shit up some time between now and S04E14.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Candiace having to gently detach bits of paper towel to dry her tears was magnificent physical comedy in this humble viewer’s opinion.