💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E09

Charrisse watch: her Potomac connections saved Houston, y’all.

Gizelle

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A mid-dye-job meltdown is something, I guess, I mean at least she’s putting in some effort. All the same I maintain that Gizelle’s another Sonja or Kenya whose relationships feel fake as fuck, minus any of the consummately professional panache those ladies bring to their gambits.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – Robyn may be built like a linebacker, but I think Mo could take her, personally.

Karen

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Not much Karen this week but whatever whenever she speaks I laugh so. Watch out for her assiduous grooming of Mo and Candiace; as disastrous a season as this is for her in terms of her entire universe collapsing on camera, I suspect she’s already building a sound strategy for the reunion and beyond so sleep on Mme. Huger at your own risk.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Am I mistaken or did Karen’s “security” consist of the same squat elderly woman in charge of valet parking?

Monique

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I by no means condone classism, yet I could only gasp in admiration at “so you can turn around and sue me and have all your dreams come true.” My personal Housewives rulebook says that you’re allowed to throw whatever shit you want to at someone if they antagonize you first, so have at it, Monique. Also she personally saved Houston. No I won’t extend this same grace to Bethenny Frankel why do you ask.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Now that Monique’s gotten a little physical violence out of her system, I hope she can return to a more strategic plan of attack on the crusty old bitches (NOT Karen!) of this cast. I believe in you, Mo! Take ’em down and give their spots to Charrisse and Kyndall!

Robyn

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As ever, I was offended at Robyn’s willingness to cackle her ass off at other people’s personal issues, then whine and mope about their bringing up her own. Then the medium came and ehhhh yeah I don’t wanna touch the pathos of that. I tend to roll with psychic shit on this show (Jackie Gillies absolutely is in regular dialogue with Princess Diana) but I could have given the Dixons this reading myself just through having watched the show, and their being completely sold on it nevertheless was…IDK it made me feel a certain way. Also I was talking about this with the other Witches and we just can’t fuck with the pathos of AIDS deaths; too real, show, too real.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – Oh my God though that little coda where Robyn was like “this really makes me rethink our relationship” GIRL STOP ENOUGH.

Ashley

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I can’t tell whether Ashley’s gotten more smug and mean or I’m just annoyed because she’s turning her provocations on people I like rather than geriatric grannies. Either way, she literally only had like two scenes so what am I supposed to work with regardless.

Rating: ⭐⭐ – I’m glad Mo immediately saw through her apology. Ashley simply had nooo idea that it was foolish to tell Robyn about Monique’s drinking? Yuh huh.

Candiace

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“So I neglected to mention Chris’s entire other child” was a very funnay and spicy reveal, good job Candi! I rarely care thaaat much about wedding planning storylines but this one has kept me at least somewhat interested, if only because, again, I am positive there’s something Off about Chris that will blow shit up some time between now and S04E14.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Candiace having to gently detach bits of paper towel to dry her tears was magnificent physical comedy in this humble viewer’s opinion.

9 thoughts on “💫STAR SEARCH💫: The Real Housewives of Potomac, S03E09

  1. There’s something ironic about Robyn lauching an enpowered women campaign when she’s stayed with a man who doesn’t love her for over 10 years *eye roll* I want to like her since she does seem like a nice enough person at heart, but she makes it so damn hard and she’s not bringing anything to the show.

    The only thing I got from Gizelle’s mini meltdown is that she has really pretty eyes otherwise I tuned it out. Loved Monique reading Robyn to filth and really Robyn complaining about people attacking her situation when she gossiped about Karen is really hypocritical I can’t. There’s something off about Chris I agree 100%

    Bring on Kyndall (Is she a friend of or something now because I noticed her in multiple scenes including getting pedicures with Monique and Karen <3)

    1. Oh I forgot to add that I believe Karen will come to the reunion well armed with Monique and Candiace supporting her. Have you checked out her blogs? They are literally insane. She called Ashley satan lol <3

      1. Oh my God Robyn going on about how *she* empowers women unlike *some people Monique* was exasperating. I love that the editors intentionally juxtaposed it with Angel Mo organizing hurricane relief.

  2. I’m always awed by Ashley’s continued descent into the Complete Monsters echelon of Real Housewives. I’m convinced she’s going to burn herself out with this cast at some point though, ‘cos she’s so indiscriminate and casual about who she does this sociopathic shit to. I see a lot in common between her and Tamra, but I can’t see the Potomac women being as forgiving (and by forgiving I mean Machiavellian) as Tamra’s supportive friend group has been. That screen cap really captures her essence lol <3

    1. It’s a very early v late reality tv phenomenon, I think. Tamra got where she is because she was playing against a bunch of amateurs early on, and now has longevity and a reputation. Ashley is just as enterprising, sure, but modern Housewives are just too game-aware to let that shit slide.

  3. I’m really enjoying how the Potomac ladies are revealing their truer selves to us. Robyn, for example, is showing she’s a bit of a bully. Now that the Dixon household has experienced some financial success, Robyn is feeling her oats. I think now that Robyn has a modicum of power, she’s showing she’s a mean girl and not just a mean girl’s handmaiden.

    And then there’s Ashley. Ashley’s songbird-chirping voice and cherubic face belie the fact that she’s a monster that feeds on conflama. She kept Monique’s outrage at a steady boil; she was visibly thrilled when Monique attempted a submission via umbrella on Robyn; and, her confessional recapping the sit-down with Monique was petty as hell. Basically, I’m obsessed. *insert Kris Jenner “you’re doing amazing, sweetie” gif* It’s nice that Ashley is taking Mo to task. Monique is pretty prone to classism for a WAG.

    1. Yeah, again, I don’t love that Mo goes there with the classism, but I suppose I’m naturally prone to let it go because WHY IS ROBYN HERE?!?!!?!?

      And yes, speaking of, you raise a good point about Robyn’s nature. Love you OddOne, but I was thinking about it in the shower this morning (good God I was thinking about Robyn Dixon in the shower this morning, how did my life end up here) and I kind of…don’t think Robyn’s a nice person at heart? She has a sort of milquetoast beta personality that we tend to associate with niceness, but she’s constantly wielding the threat of violence, is a gleeful accomplice in the worst of Gizelle’s mean girl bullshit, and is, at the end of the day, pretty consistently a catty hypocrite.

      I really need to let go of this Robyn bugbear though she’s clearly not going anywhere for some reason WHATEVER.

      (I *also* noticed and was impressed/terrified by Ashley’s exuberant grin at seeing Monique nearly crush Robyn’s trachea.)

      1. Maybe I’m still trying to think of the best for Robyn and I found her whole financial situation harrowing and just want her to be more of a nice person than she is “/ I really think she is more expendable than you think though, but is it the same production company as Atlanta for Potomac? Because if so that could explain why the cast doesn’t have turnover. Or the low black population in Potomac lol (even though the show is pretty much the DMV area at this point)

        1. Yeah if they can cart in Robyn from Wilmington or wherever they can find a better black woman in the general Potomac vicinity. Or, you know, just Charrisse.

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