You are expected to expect the unexpected.
- Well, it’s been rumored for a while, but Brandi Redmond has now confirmed in the most Brandi way imaginable—through a drunken Instagram story—that she has adopted a third child. (Gotta counteract that villain edit somehow, after all.) Will it be named Brumhilda? Brayden? Brake? Make your predictions now!
- A now-deleted Reddit post made several SHOCKING! claims about our Oceanic Housewives franchises, including that Sydney has been cancelled (u better not), that Pettifleur is coming back to Melbourne (hell yes), and that she fucked David Oldfield (buh what). We can’t speak to its credibility, but the source DID say that Melbourne S4 would air in the US in July, and indeed it will be, so that’s one piece of the puzzle there. Pettifleur, of course, has stoked these rumors ever since (CW: Jill Zarin). Can’t wait for the Jetsons Meet the Flintstones realness of PF and Venus interacting.
- Shannon Beador’s new mystery man: revealed! (CW: Bret Michaels.) That sound you hear is Vicki absconding to the Rumor Lab with her gruesome assistant Kelly.
- Best wishes to Gregg Leakes, who has been hospitalized for the last fifteen(!) days.
- To the Gorgas: surprise, you’ve been served! I think we can all agree that we’re astonished they’d have legal trouble.
- Finally, in what I call a surprise in only the most ironic of senses, Sonja was spotted out at the clurb being a slutty drunken mess after appearing on WWHL. (Live by Page Six, die by Page Six, I suppose.) Sonja’s response? “Dancing? Grinding? Humping? That’s all in the eye of the beholder.” Beautiful and wise 💕.