Fuckin’ same, Doris.
First of all, here’s Bethenny rolling up to her blog for the first time in *ten months* to deliver some more condescending pablum.
Dishonorable Mention: Bethenny
I realized, while watching, that it triggers me and takes me back to my childhood. I won’t go into much detail, but I have experience with people acting irrationally while under the influence.
*I’m* fucking triggered by hearing yet again about Bethenny’s childhood trauma that she “won’t go into much detail” about solely because she already spent all of fucking Season 7 doing that. I also am sooo tired of this shit where Bethenny whips up bullshit about people’s mental health out of some misguided, narcissistic projection of her own family issues. Jules Wainstein’s blood cries out from the earth for vengeance.
I’d also like to highlight the following two extremely telling wording errors from this week’s blogs.
Adam, of three years, announces he went on a date, and that takes me by surprise.
I felt for Carole when she shared with Dorinda that Adam had gone on a date with a woman he would like to see again.
Okay, let’s get finally get started!
Honorable Mention, Part 1: Luann
Bethenny invited Dorinda to Puerto Rico because she believed that she would be an asset on this relief trip. Instead, in an effort to appear relevant, Dorinda insulted Bethenny’s partners after she drank too much. You would think that by now Dorinda would realize that drinking makes her aggressive. It’s not a good look, and I hope she took to heart what Bethenny had to say about her drinking.
As for living alone, I get Dorinda’s fear of falling and not getting up. Maybe it’s time for her to get a #lifealert necklace?
Including this one chiefly for Dorinda’s twitter reaction to it:
Honorable Mention, Part 2: Dorinda
Naturally, Bethenny calls me a drunk. Is she really compassionate or is this just another TV moment? We’ve all seen it before —her absolute glee while waiting for one of us to make a misstep, then she pulls out her P-Touch label maker: whore, drunk, nit-wit, loser. Cue the hug.
Including this one (a) because it’s perhaps the most succinct and accurate summation of what it is that so irks me about Bethenny, and (b) because during her appearance on WWHL, Ramona made the same exact point—methinks Team Carole is hatching a reunion strategy.
Then as I settle in my hotel room to binge-watch my favorite show, Law & Order, order room service, and get a good night’s sleep as we had a 6am wakeup call, my phone rings. Oh no! I am meant to be downstairs in five for a dinner. Dinner? With who? Bethenny’s charity partner? Nooooo!!!!!
Well, maybe I’m not into Bethenny this week, but I’m obviously into hard boiled eggs!
They never really bonded with Tom, and as Victoria said, “He doesn’t know how to #hug.”
I am also grateful to private citizens like Bethenny who step up to fill in the gaping holes. I just don’t understand why she’s fully committed this season to talking about me as though I’m a Miss America contestant who banged her prom date. Haahaahaaa.
So Bethenny, stick to what you know — the booze business. And by the way, he’s Doctor Medley to you.