The Real Housewives of Atlanta – Reunion Power Ranking Pt. 2

Part two of the reunion can only mean one thing: Kimberleigh Zolciak Biermann. This was a hard one to rank as half the ladies settled into comfortable silence and the friends picked up the slack.

Getting friendly:

Marlo: Still on the couch carrying over from part one when we start off the episode. She clarifies that she is not a sex worker of any sort but her billionaire boyfriend purchased many of her assets. I’m ready for someone to shout from the rooftops that they proudly sucked a dick for that Bentley. Half the housewives do the same thing but they have a ring on their fingers so it’s fine, I guess. 🙄

Eva: Showing up like a champ while in early labour trying to secure that peach with a reunion baby I presume. Eva came off very well if not a little bit boring. She shamed Shamea for trying to out her, she held her own against Cynthia about Will. Certainly the best friend of appearance this week.

Kim: Instantly destroyed by one of Andy Cohen’s best incisive questions about her lips. We’ll have to wait until next week for the juicy stuff that makes her storm off stage, but this reunion is definitely going to be her destruction.

 

6. Cynthia (-1):

I didn’t expect such a bad performance. She came off delusional by continuing to defend Will. Eva took her down with dates and timestamps. Andy pried into her sex life and she admitted that in 10 months of dating, her and Will never boned. Cynthia has improved overwhelmingly since she flew Nene’s coop and twirled under Kenya’s wing, but you should not be taking dating/storyline advice from Mrs. Moore.

5. Porsha (-3):

Her good luck couldn’t have lasted. She did manage to…maybe squash the issue with Kandi but I don’t trust her ability to keep her mouth shut about it. Aside from that she was clowned on from start to finish until Kim showed up to take over the punching bag role. Porsha is just so vapid and devoid of any sort of unique personality, I don’t see the appeal.

4. Shereé (+2):

Joggers victorious. Shereé managed to scoop her remains back up from last week’s devastation and sink into the background. Anything is an improvement. Aside from remaining low-key, she did get to call out Nene’s terrible rape joke as being incredibly offensive as a survivor of domestic violence. I did find it painful when she briefed Kim as she arrived, knowing how this terrible alliance is a big part of sinking her peach.

3. Nene (+1): 

I continue to be pleasantly surprised with this reunion performance from my historically least favourite reunion housewife! Points docked for her terrible explanation of the Uber rape joke. She didn’t “wish” rape on anyone, just “hoped” for it. Semantics! Other than when Kim first came out, she also managed to repress her instinct to yell and talk over everyone. Hopefully she breaks free from Kandi’s preventative grips next week to eviscerate Kim.

2. Kenya (-1):

Her much reduced screentime this year amounted in much less drama than Kenya is normally involved in. Still, despite rarely being addressed directly she managed to get in a ton of barbs at Marlo. She called out Porsha’s hypocrisy about the epithet flinging, and got to throw plenty of shade at Kim.

1. Kandi (+2): 

I actually had trouble ranking the ladies aside from those who totally biffed it because I don’t think there was any clear-cut winner this week. Since the season featured a ton of non-issue friend of feuds, lots of the main cast is just cruising by without taking any heat. I’m going to put Kandi on top because of her detente with Porsha where she came off as the bigger person, Cynthia’s gushing crush, and the whole segment on her raps including the live performance of Andy’s.

2 thoughts on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta – Reunion Power Ranking Pt. 2

  1. That Porsha read just gave me life. Nothing annoys me more than seeing her brag about being back for season 11 on Dish Nation. I think this part of the reunion made it clearer than the last part that Cynthia, Kenya, Kandi all dislike her with Kandi/Porsha being like Shannon/Vicki levels and Sheree dislikes her (rip) and Nene would only tolerate her for a pocket ally. If Sheree is leaving, Porsha should’ve as well just like Phaedra last season :S I actually liked Cynthia that segment but her entire storyline basically being exposed as fake to any viewer with a hint of intelligence was a low blow. Kenya gave me life this reunion I legitimately laughed out loud at “when I’m looking for porn” and “storm wig”.

    I’m here for Kim Z being destroyed. I don’t know why she thinks she’s a victim in all of this? It’s really amusing to say the least. At least she gave other people storylines to entertainingly destroy her.

    1. In addition to being a Kenya fanatic I think the Sheree/Kenya rivalry has given us some of the funniest shit from any housewives franchise ever. Just pure comedy and I do plan to write about it…eventually as I do many things.

      I always like Cynthia enough but she got hammered there by Eva and Andy of all people lol. There wasn’t enough big drama this season to detract from her stuff being addressed at length.

      Porsha’s continued casting really astonishes me but I guess there’s a fanbase there. She hasn’t had a storyline in years, doesn’t mesh with the cast, and she isn’t a superstar like Nene. Seems like an obvious boot to me.

      I’m upset about Kim this year although I should have predicted it. Kim Z gave me non stop entertainment the first three seasons or so but she’s clearly over the show, and her purposely stank attitude as opposed to her old ignorant stankness just isn’t working for me. She did give people a reason to fight so it wasn’t all bad, but I didn’t enjoy her presence as a villain.

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