Highs and Lows: Running Your Mouth – RHONY

After a stunning premiere episode, our ladies of the Big Apple have returned to grace our screens once more. I foolishly made dinner plans for last night and forgot we are now in RHONY WEDNESDAY season so I couldn’t watch live. Brb, blocking off my calendar for 4 months.

Highs:

1. Ramoments. It was a light Ramona episode but she made the most of her screentime. Of course she defended Luann’s costume while literally defining blackface. I cracked up at her phone call with her restaurateur friend. Moments like that exemplify why these ladies just can’t hate Ramona: she’s a funny doofus to be witness to when she isn’t terrorizing you. Can’t wait for the forced surprise/not surprise party.

2. The Countess. Um, Luann was fucking hilarious this episode. That lunch with Tinsley was something else. First off, I live for anytime Lu gives unsolicited dating advice. Whether telling Bethenny to be a damsel in distress or Tinsley to perhaps work more Moroccan costumes into the bedroom, who could deny the Countess’s relationship prowess? Not content to have just one aggressively delusional lunch with a castmate, her meeting with Sonja was next level. I for one did not know that the Countess had her own Pandora station. I am very impressed.

3. Depths of delusion. Oh Sonja. This season isn’t going to be good for you, just calling it now. That gay party that she surely throws absolutely every Wednesday. We just haven’t seen it before yet because … Her walk in the park with Dorinda was something else. After a summer spent in a Zoloft haze which she allegedly stopped, she’s back and filled with the same self-destructive, insane Sonja Tremont Morgan nonsense I’ve come to love. Next week is going to be delicious.

4. Lottery lady. It was a lightweight Dorinda episode as well this week as she was mostly a sounding board for everyone’s qualms with each other. I just want to make a running commentary of the ongoing character quirks that she brings us. Dorinda not only enjoys scratch and win lotto tickets (who doesn’t?) but finds old ones at random tucked into her books. She also does a salt toss over her shoulder at restaurants. Can’t wait for her to eviscerate Sonja next week in the Hamptons. You didn’t look fat in your costume, btw angel.

5. Tins going in. Thank god Tinsley didn’t have some horrible tagline about finding her voice, but she actually seems to have done so. Sonja and Bethenny were awful to her last season but with her newfound Carole alliance she’s on the climb. It was great to see her putting Luann in her place about the Tom debacle and I look forward to more of her as the season progresses.

6. The princess returns. Carole has been giving me everything I need this season after being so ready to dump her the past two years. Call it a renaissance. She’s out for blood with Luann, and I found the marathon footage about as enjoyable as I possibly could. Seeing Anthony’s time was touching, and it was just the right amount of sweet before we descend back into screaming hyena women next week. Plus I’m always going to hand out bonus points for her bringing along a Heather cameo. Holla mama!

holla

Lows:

1. Woeful wit. Uh, those Bethenny talking heads were painfully unfunny? Did anyone laugh? Bueller? Moronotophy? Seriously? How many more questions can I ask? I’ll believe the Bethenny is walking away from the show rumours when I see it, but I’m here to say it: she’s over. Her popularity with the basics is bound to plummet soon enough.

2. Boss bitch. Wow, a solo footage scene about another apartment you’ve bought Bethenny. How thrilling. Take this over to your crap show with Fredrick. Bethenny came off like a nightmare boss in the scene too. Imagine the owner of your company who just swans in once every couple of months to shrilly deride all of the office decor while you have to nod along and jot it all down. I know both of these lows are Bethenny, so I’ll toss in the one good moment so I don’t seem insanely biased. I did love that her and Luann are friends now and their drunken Halloween bender. I enjoy Bethenny being dropped by Carole and having to go slither back to the Grey Gardens for friends.

6 thoughts on “Highs and Lows: Running Your Mouth – RHONY

  1. Housewives never really touches on the heartstrings for me, but damn it, I was getting a bit teary-eyed at the end of this episode. Ready to dub her QUEEN Carole after this season.

    Lu was such a gem. She can portray a villain/anti-hero/hero edit all in one episode flawlessly. Marvel at her delusional dating advise and vigor against Carole then feel sympathy for how her marriage fell apart. Do The Bitchy Witches have 3 songs on iTunes under “Countess Luann”?

    Bethenny needs someone to bounce off of desperately. Lu in S8, Ramona in S9, etc… something like that because I find her solo scenes very mapped out and redundant. ANOTHER APARTMENT MINI-ARC?! REALLY?!!!!!!!!!!! Heather’s cameo was better than any of her footage this week so… holla.

  2. I was pretty hyped for the Bethenny vs Carole feud because last time she broke up with her BFF it was pretty heated but… I don’t really care about it/HER now?

    I’d rather watch Carole (who I’ve never been her biggest fan) take her feud with Lu to a whole new level after spending the last 3 and a half seasons being mediocre (The “Your wife is not a good person” episode will always have a special place in my reality-tv filled mind though <3).

    1. Yeah, I rewatched a few early Carole eps a little while back and was shocked to remember how much I used to like her, so this return to feistiness/revving up her Lu disdain/fiiiinally giving up on Bethenny has excited me.

  3. I loved this episode! Bethenny was MORN and hopefully she leaves after this season. Her entire solo material at her office was maybe the most I cringed in this episode and that’s *saying* something when Sonja got several scenes. Tinsley and Luann’s lunch with Luann’s hair lmfao <3

    1. I’m hesitant to predict Bethenny ever leaving because she plays the same “will-I-won’t-I” game every year and also because the world isn’t typically that kind to me. Hooowever if she does leave I feel like this is the season. The audience is beginning to turn on her, the cast and production seem fed up with her, and honestly she lifts right out of the cast; she was barely in this episode and did it suffer? Nah bruh.

      Ironically, I always felt that the entire reason they *kept* Carole the last few years was because Bethenny wanted a guaranteed ally in the cast. Now Carole is getting her own identity back by dunking on Bethenny and I love it. But yeah, now that Bethenny is basically without allies I could see her tucking tail and leaving, especially since she has a new fucking spinoff.

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