Yeah I’m ranking them duh~
7. Bethenny (“It’s great to be successful. But it’s even better to B Strong.”)
I wouldn’t even have realized the play on words if the above article didn’t inform me, so assiduously do I avoid following Bethenny Frankel’s business pursuits. But my God must everything be branded with you woman??? More like Brandenny (I’ve had a couple glasses of wine stay with me here).
6. Dorinda (“I have a big heart, but little patience.”)
Little disappointed she didn’t continue her previous tagline’s tack of referencing the season before (wouldn’t have minded if she just showed up shouting “CLIIIIIIIIIIP,” honestly). But uh yes please continue leaning into your lack of patience, especially during happy hour.
5. Carole (“In the marathon of life, loyalty is everything.”)
Kind of reminds me of Gamble’s S4 tagline, in that it doesn’t make a whooole lot of sense on its own but I do still earnestly appreciate her using it to take an obvious dig at her egomaniacal soon-to-be-former best friend. I also appreciate her writerly instinct to foreground her main solo storyline in the season intro. (P.S. I hate to admit this but it just struck me that “In the marathon of life, I’m the word on the street” kinda works…)
4. Sonja (“I’m not just a last name. I’m a legacy.”)
AND A CALLING?!?!?! Sorry sorry I’ll stop it with the Potomac refs. Anyway, gotta love Sonja doubling down—well, it’s gotta be more like quintupling down at this point, actually—on her delusions.
3. Ramona (“Age is an issue of mind over matter: if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!”)
Ramona continuing to dip into the vaudeville one-liners for her taglines. I’m not mad about it though; more impressed that she actually uttered the word “age” this time.
2. Tinsley (“Come on, why cook when I can order room service?”)
I basically exclusively subsist on delivery so fuckin amen girl. We may give Tins shit for being a woman-child, but c’mon, if you can afford eternal hotel life why the hell not??? (Especially when you can be sure that nobody has recently jizzed on your duvet.)
1. Luann (“The most interesting people make the best headlines.”)
I mean come on. On a scale of 1 to that guy on Grey’s Anatomy who fucked Meredith then suffered from a humiliating case of priapism, how hard are we all for S10 Lu? (Yes I used to watch Grey’s what of it.)