Highs and Lows: Bad Guys – RHOBH

Dorit Hermes Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Beverly Hills has returned once more. This episode is super Kyle-lite as she’s off in Croatia so it must be a good one, right?

Highs:

1. Dorit & PK: Bless these two buffoons for deciding they would learn NOTHING from their first season. Of course that coke party accusation wasn’t dead and buried between them and Rinna. Kudos to them just going all out trying to gain Teddi and her man as allies. They’re predictably totally unable to read a room and the fact that Teddi isn’t sold on their side of things. Can’t wait for the drama we get when this makes it back to Rinna in approximately eight episodes.

2. Dorit’s accent: Go back and watch the scene of Dorit with her gauche Hermes plate settings. Congrats btw, you’re officially the Beverly Hills Kim Zolciak, who you may have forgotten had some hideous Versace plate settings circa season four. Anyway, her ridiculous accent was on full display here. Listen to her enunciate “ASAP” and then when she tells PK she “has to cook now” she goes full British. Dorit’s accent is enough screen presence for me to justify her casting. Also they probably focused in on that receipt so tightly so they could return the plates after filming even if it got misplaced.

Lows:

1. LVP’s old tricks: Did anyone have flashbacks to season five when LVP made Rinna stand up and give a speech at Dorit’s birthday dinner? It reminded me of her making Brandi grovel and sing in front of everyone at some event by the olive tree while Brandi went along with it, mortified. Coincidentally, season five is when I started disliking LVP. She also dismissed Rinna in front of Teddi when she (hilariously desperately) said she loves church, too. Note that LVP said she “supports her church” when Teddi asked if she was religious. I think it’s a safe assumption that this means she sacrifices a few SUR waiters every season to keep the cult of LVP afloat.

2. Horses: Wow Teddi, thanks for clarifying you don’t own the horse you ride because it is too expensive. I personally affix Cartier love bracelets as horse shoes weekly so you have a lot of catching up to do. Okay seriously though, I really don’t see the appeal of horses as animals and I have bad blood with a girl who kept her 30 year old horse as a pet, but this still was one of the most boring equestrian scenes ever on housewives, primarily since it was devoid of any Kelly Killoren Bensimon.

3. Daddy issues: Really hoping Erika’s storyline this season isn’t all about her dad because I can never really get into those absentee parent arcs. I get she’s trying to flesh out the “ice queen” as a character but I don’t consider it good television. Also negative points for bringing Brian Moylan to my screen. Putting it politely, I am not a fan.

7 thoughts on “Highs and Lows: Bad Guys – RHOBH

  1. funny you should mention kkb because teddi sort of gives me kelly vibes! not in a jogging in traffic way, but in how kelly clearly viewed herself as a down-to-earth, pretentious tomboy, despite pretty much being a textbook example of the kind of vapid socialite she hated. there’s something so offputting about someone who thinks they float above the fray but is actually just another kind of pretender, although unlike kel kel, teddi doesn’t have the charisma to pull it off.

    you remember that episode of buffy where the ghosts of the student/teacher lovers possess the living into acting out their tragic fates over and over? i think the ghost of taylor armstrong is doing that to dorit.

  2. Teddi’s stale confrontation with Erika, whew lord. The way this girl is going to be serving stick in the mud the whole season is probably why LVP is the only one who seemingly liked her after filming.

    Are you ready to use your dildo (named “The Camile”) next week?! Dorit might be MVP this season if she keeps these bombastic and nouveau riche antics up.

    1. Yeah I knew Dorit would probably continue on this well but I was once again banking on Rinna as MVP. I think she has time to ascend to the throne eventually but these two will be the only ones giving us entertainment.

  3. Luckily Hermès does not allow returns, only exchanges within 7 days. That’s probably how Dorit got that second Birkin. Probs swapped her dirty plates for another bag.

    1. Nothing like serving what appeared to be a slop pile on your Hermes plates. She’s a VERY good cook. PEE KAYYYY loves my cooking.

  4. thank god rhoc12 exists to show that even the dullest seasons can still be worsened by lvp. her tired, corny jabs at rinna are PAINFUL. there’s a couple of things going on right now that i can see panning out eventually, but i’m already a lot more exhausted by this season than i ever was with oc.

    1. Yeah, the OC snooze eps were always a letdown but they never made my blood boil while simultaneously being bored the way RHOBH does. Honestly I think LVP came off poorly last season and she’s continuing to this year, even only a few episodes in. She’s still wildly popular, sure, but plenty of people have noticed what a bitter humourless crone she is now.

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