It’s about Chyka. (No, really.)
On Her Own: Whatever your body type is, a legs-only fake tan seems like one of the worst cosmetic decisions possible.
With the Ladies: Has Lydia seriously botched yet another assault on her castmates? Dead. The thing is…there really is a non-zero chance that she’s making this shit up, which is pretty astonishing.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Celebrating another year of the Melbourne cast dancing around the Lydia/Shane affair, employing only the barest euphemisms to avoid discussing it completely openly.
On Her Own: *Let it be known* that Susie’s one and only one good scene was a psychic reading with Jackie, so I guess we can count on The Angels for entertainment if we can’t count on mortals.
With the Ladies: Thanks for hosting a party where conflict happened~
Rating: ⭐⭐ – Looking forward to The Widow’s Guide to Sex and Tasteful Sweaters.
On Her Own: We’re here for your fake-noble husband, not for your sister’s boring almost-husband, don’t get it twisted.
With the Ladies: I *always* give points for Housewives producing screenshots of emails, texts, gossip sites, etc., so yeah I’m not gonna complain about seeing a low-quality still from The Birds uncovered via some poor production moron’s text exchanges with an almost-certainly drunk Gamble.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – It uh looks like Venus does not gain any more traction next week either though.
On Her Own: Dropping this random lost pop career three years into her tenure is one more gem in the Gamble crown. She could have been another Natalie Imbruglia y’all 😪.
With the Ladies: I mean the Hitchcock text’s not not funny.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ – My fave emerging motif of the season is Gamble being characterologically unable not to complete a neutral or even positive comment about Venus without immediately negating it through an even worse insult.
On Her Own: I’m finding her really funny this season! The most effortlessly funny she’s ever been, honestly (though of course I prefer the unintentional season 1 absurdity now and forever).
With the Ladies: On the other hand, chill out about Gamble’s jokes. It’s Gamble.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ – Oh but kudos for “So yes that glass is for Janet~” Love an egregious setup like that.
On Her Own: *Finally* the full Jackie Gillies experience. A psychic reading would have been enough, but the fuckin IMAX 4D immersive experience of the Shine It Up: Live tour (feat. a bouncing electro-booty contest, trust hugs, and Jakica Ivancevic’s eventual co-starring role on The Ellen Show) was this blogger’s personal vision of heaven.
With the Ladies: I’m almost certain Jackie suspects/knows that Janet said something or other (it’s JANET hello) but that she steadfastly ripped into Lydia anyway shows the tenacity I love in Our Lady of the Angels.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Seriously CHYKA being the focal point of this gossip made me fall the fuck out though.
On Her Own: I don’t support fat-shaming, but I DO support the insane amount of animosity Janet and Lydia harbor for one another…it’s a tough balance. (Much like Lydia’s scales LMAO! – Janet “Roachie” Roach)
With the Ladies: Janet’s damage control technique (i.e., button-mashing till she depletes Lydia’s health enough to scurry away) is perhaps unparalleled in this cast. This is why you need screenshots, Lydia.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ – Janet’s plaster-mask reaction to Venus small talk is completely me interacting with 85% of strangers.