Highs and Lows: Stronger Than Ever – RHOBH

Well, the richest and most glamourous Real Housewives franchise is back to wow us again. This…certainly was an episode of…television this week. Let’s dive into what happened, shall we?

Highs:

1. Bunnygate spillover: It was seriously stretching to find a high this episode. I did enjoy the story about Harry Hamlin confronting Kyle Richards on some hiking trail about how rude and evil Kim was. Let’s start a theme of people Kyle doesn’t like just popping up in random locations to harass her.

Lows:

1. Dorit and Jagger: Painfully extended kid scene with Dorit and Jagger. I know we had to introduce Teddi somehow but it did nothing for me. PK literally makes my ovaries curl up inside me and die but please give me his slimy English toad face in every Dorit scene. Way too light on the PK this week. Also do they let you totally renovate rentals? She wiped the JLo and Marc Anthony right out of that place. Tragic. I assume they upgraded the basement for Boy George too.

2. Teddi: This chick does not have any screen presence. She’s uncharismatic with a deep monotone voice that doesn’t deliver well on television. Her character is being painted as someone who doesn’t care about the wealth or glitz while living in her luxury compound and driving her expensive car. I get they are trying to find someone to conflict with the general BH theme of gross materialism but they could just find some actual “poor” person from the other side of the tracks (like a Brandi or Kim) to fit the role much better. She reminds me a bit of Kathryn Edwards and that isn’t a compliment.

3. Birkin bags: As a female who appreciates nice handbags, I will never understand the Birkin. Perhaps I’m just too young, but it’s a stuffy old lady bag to me. I get that it’s a status piece but it’s so damn boring. Exceedingly basic. Oh yes sure it’s an “investment” but Kyle Richards is not flipping Birkin bags on eBay for profit. Every franchise loves trotting out a housewife with a Birkin fetish and it always makes me hate that housewife.

4. Nothing happening: I know this was a premiere and there were a lot of establishing scenes but hoo boy nothing happened this episode. The Teddi/Dorit child scenes were endless, we got Erika with the squad and thankfully very little LVP (although she did manage to sneak in a jab about Erika’s rashy pussy). They jetted off to Vegas right away but Rinna didn’t join the group until the last minute so it was a whole lot of nothing. I hate entering a housewives season with such pessimism but I’m pretty disenchanted with the BH ladies now. I don’t see who is going to make this season any better than the prior three.

8 thoughts on “Highs and Lows: Stronger Than Ever – RHOBH

  1. maybe i’m expecting too much, but i’m cautiously optimistic about the multiple jabs lvp took at erika. i’ve been waiting for that feud basically since the moment erika appeared on this show, and i think it’s the obvious solution to the rhobh problem. i’m sure that won’t even be on the table for another 10 weeks, though. so yeah, things are pretty dire. you know it’s bad when lisa rinna talking about harry hamlin is somehow a highlight.

    1. Yeah I mean BH still reliably gives us 3-4 amazing episodes a season, it’s just a matter of slogging through the rest to get to them. I do think witnessing the Hong Kong trip was worth the pain of Pantygate and S7, so I’m sure they’ll give us some trip that makes S8 seem worthwhile too. If LVP and Erika face off proper, I’m here for it.

    2. i feel like lvp vs erika will be such a chore because you know lvp’s side of it will happen entirely off camera, and it will just look like some random misfortune befalling erika. you won’t even know vanderpump was involved until, idk, teddi and dorit give her up at the reunion, and while that will be a great reveal, it won’t salvage the preceding 22 episodes.

    1. You know I almost see it. Equestrians, trying very hard to appear as “normal” people despite being rich and weird. Kelly’s just a normal mid-western girl who likes beer and chicken wings!!

  2. Honestly I could listen to Dorit talk and do anything and still be enamored by her facial expressions, mannerisms, and accent (of course). I find watching her to be like a slow burn horror film and of course the renovations weren’t going as planned and over budget.

    Teddi made a worse debut then Melbourne Sally I find her offensively boring and she has no screen presence at all with that voice and presentation. I totally agree what they’re pushing her to be she just isn’t. Also superficial but I find her face reminds me too much of someone I know that I don’t care for which probably makes me hate her more.

    Totally agree more people should confront Kyle Richards and make her life harder on the daily.

    1. my big fear re: dorit is that she’s learned from her first season fumbles and cleaned up her act and will behave more in line with the bh status quo. i hope not, though. we need a new taylor armstrong and dorit’s doing great so far.

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