In this week’s Round-Up, the former Bravo Z-listers are getting litigious, we’ve got a birthday in the house, and Phaedra is fine, really.
- Melissa Gorga’s former partner in her boutique Envy, Jackie Beard Robinson, is inexplicably suing Melissa and head Housewife wrangler Andy Cohen for $30 million, because ???. I look forward to the courtroom reveal that this whole scheme was orchestrated by Kim D., who will be sitting in the gallery, smoking a cigarette and apathetically shrugging.
- Noted millennial lover Bethenny Frankel is suing her creep ex-husband Jason Hoppy for custody of their daughter. Are blind items admissible in court?
- Phaedra Parks has publicly announced that she’s at peace with never returning to RHOA, presumably because she already harvested enough human souls to complete her genesis machine.
- Among the losses in the recent California fires (be well, L.A. witches!) is the house Kyle Richards grew up in. Our sympathies; always difficult to have a childhood home of considerable sentimental value taken from you.
- And lastly, we have a birthday to celebrate. It ain’t Elvis Aaron Presley — it’s Mary Zilba’s favourite husbandchild and musical muse, Chase. Take a moment amidst your “Shine It Up” binge to fire this baby up and croon it into the face of the estranged goddaughter nearest you.