This week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the women take a trip via train, and Hercule Poirot tries to figure out why Porsha Williams was stabbed twelve times while all the passengers look out the window and whistle innocently.
Who stayed on track and who went off the rails?
6. Kandi: Did she need to spend her train ride making fat gags about Porsha? Probably not. But it’s not among the top
10 50 500 pettiest things I’ve heard on this show, and it’s not a rape accusation. So I’ll allow it.
5. Shereé: We got a bit more background this week on Tyrone the jailbird, and yes, being responsible for millions of dollars in fraud should disqualify him immediately. But I lived through Matt, and Dr. Tiy-E, and Kordell, and Bob, and Peter Thomas, and that oily white dude NeNe pretended to date during her two-second divorce from Gregg. So if this guy’s a nice man besides all the con artistry, I say go with God and keep your finances separate. Shereé has good judgment about money, right?
4. Cynthia: Believe it or not, I like Cynthia’s decision to ride obnoxiously hard for Kenya. I truly believe Kenya will be a more devoted ally in the long run than NeNe; they’re probably about equally high maintenance anyway. I even like Cynthia’s choice to bail on dinner when the girls started shit-talking Kenya. First of all, the woman’s grandma just died; second of all, she handled that shady fake wedding incredibly graciously; and third of all, as an astute YouTube comment I read pointed out, Cynthia’s loyalty will play very well when Shereé inevitably brings her twisted account of the dinner to Kenya’s door.
3. Porsha and 2. NeNe: I’m lumping Porsha and NeNe together because they’re sort of stuck in the same swamp of loud justifications. NeNe less so, because her point is generally more valid: just because she insulted Porsha once on WWHL doesn’t mean she actively lobbied to get her fired (although maybe she did; that’s a very NeNe move). But it’s sort of sound and fury with NeNe at this point, yelling and confused moralizing about gratitude and pretending to take up for Kandi, a woman she doesn’t even like. There are ways for her to handle this without looking like so much of a hypocrite because at its core, her argument is much better than Porsha’s.
Porsha, meanwhile, should just give it up. There’s nothing she can do to clean up her name, even if she offered a grovelling public apology, which she won’t do. She’s lost the women, she’s lost the viewers, she for sure lost the Chinese-American community when she commented that Chinatown was “just like Tokyo.” Pack it in. Dish Nation awaits.
1. Kenya: For a woman who’s allegedly despised by production and about to get fired, I thought it was a very soft edit for Kenya this week. The stuff about her grandma was affecting. She handled the fake wedding to Flat Marc, which was clearly meant to provoke her, with remarkable poise and good humour. By the end, it just seemed like everyone was picking on her. A rare positive depiction for Kenya Moore. Hope she does snow angels in that; I’m sure Kim Zolciak will be back soon enough squawking slander at her.
Next week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta: lots of casual B-reel of Kenya and Flat Marc chilling around the house, playing Twister, cuddling in bed, laughing over dinner.