Sometimes, an item of Housewives interest crops up — a marriage, a separation, a new line of products — and we think, “huh, guess we should blog about that.” But then we don’t, because we’re lazy, and they pile up and up and up. And then we’re like, “ugh, I guess we reported on Angela Stone trying that fat sucking machine; we can’t ignore Kenya’s pregnancy. Let’s just chuck all the shit we missed together in a big clump.” Hence, The Round-Up: a grab bag of news and innuendo so good it’s like getting your dick sucked by a strange man. Allegedly.
- First and foremost, you’ve surely heard the gossip by now that Kenya Moore is pregnant. As with all things Kenya, the truth of this is unclear; I’m still half-expecting Kenya Moore to show up one week recast with a different actress and it never be addressed. But I will say that I hope it’s true, if only because Kenya suddenly locking down her husband and kid at damn near 50 would be the ultimate fuck you to her haters (nearly all of whom she consciously provoked into hating her, but still).
- More good news from Atlanta: Kandi has been cast as Matron “Mama” Morton in Broadway’s Chicago. Watch out for falling sandbags, Kandi! Phaedra could be lurking in the eaves!
- Finally, in less sunny news from the West Coast, both Shannon Beador (OC) and Carlton Gebbia‘s (BH) separations have officially entered the divorce phase. People have been pitching Shannon/Kelly as their new ride or die ship, but I respectfully suggest Shannon/Carlton is the actual buddy comedy we need.