Cheshire puts its sixth series to bed with lots and lots and lots of moralizing. Oh, goody.
After a series spent mercifully on the sidelines, Seema returned just in time to smother the finale like a human fire blanket. At her best, Seema reads as a normal person who is far too boring for this show. At her worst, she can be agonizingly sanctimonious, and that side of her was on full display tonight. It is of limited interest to me to litigate who was wrong in the Ester/Nermina fight. Is it polite to throw a drink on someone? No. Do you have it coming if you’re screeching in their face about them fucking their way to the top? Yeah, probably. Either way, it’s all “glad it ain’t me” territory, and certainly doesn’t merit the excruciating talk of morals and the high road that Seema spewed all over Cheshire’s last hour. I won’t beg the producers to be rid of her, because I’ve played that old record before, but rest assured I’ll spend some extra time thumbing through my copy of The Secret tonight.
But any moral arbiter is only as good as the herd of baying townspeople who take up her cause, and Seema’s self-righteousness was infectious enough to claim Rachel. I’m not sure what got into Rachel this week; I suspect it was simply the case that she had reached the finale without staking out clear allegiances or engaging in a direct conflict, and Ester was the most opportune target. I find that lazy and boring, and hope that if Rachel returns for the next series she puts a bit more effort into her feuds than just coattailing everyone else.
Don’t worry about Ester, though. The Czech czarmer of Czeshire will be just fine. For all the hour’s wan attempts at glamour and conflict, my favourite moment of the series six finale came early on, as Ester took a walk in the park with her mother, the irreplaceable Zolenka. Through tears and inexplicable stirring music, she explained that she had been persecuted, yes, and beaten down, but that she would survive and thrive. You can buy all the cool sculpting and designer brands and flashy sunglasses you want, but you can’t put a price on that kind of delusion. God bless us, everyone.
It’s not over yet, though. Next week, the producers drag those dusty velvet monstrosity couches out of storage and plug Brian Dowling into his charger as the ‘Wives tackle the reunion. Lauren was curiously absent from the sofas in the preview; I’m hoping she hasn’t parted ways with the show, because a world where Seema outlives Lauren is too grim and unjust to contemplate. At least we have Leanne‘s attempted murder of Dawn to look forward to. See ya next week, BEECHES!