Halloween Spooktacular: Psychics and Mediums

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If we’re counting off things these rich ladies love (in a plot twist surprising to no one, the true horror is privilege), we must acknowledge psychics. Truly, nothing says “bored with too much money” like paying a stranger to magically divine your future. But as we well know, on these cold autumn days, we must be careful when crossing the veil between worlds. Here are some of the spOoOoOokiest Real Housewives psychics and mediums.

 

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Jackie Gillies (Melbourne)
Our first psychic is the only credited Housewife to commune with the other side (okay, Ampika dabbled a bit near the end of her Cheshire run, but still). Jackie kicked RHOMelbourne off in supernatural style with a first episode feud about whether she was communicating with Gina Liano’s grandmother… or a demon!!! The spirits still guide her as she prepares for her fourth season. Follow her Instagram story for daily affirmation cards. #theangelsarewithus

 

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Mama Elsa (Miami)
There are many reasons to watch The Real Housewives of Miami, a hidden gem in the Bravo catalog, including the urgently iconic Mama Elsa. Miami’s O.G. bruja was always cruising around stirring up shit with the cast and throwing herself into random conflicts with thirsty drag queens and Thomas Kramer. One of Elsa’s best moments came when Lea Black had the temerity to bring another psychic, Leslie Jordan character “Norman the Cosmic Cheerleader,” into the mix. La reina was not having a goddamn second of Norman’s nonsense and instantly stepped into his ceremony to piss all over him, establishing herself as the alpha dog of the Miami psychic scene.

 

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Scott Cruz (Orange County)
Ideally, a medium is only in the mix to reveal incriminating information about one of the Housewives and blame it on the spirit world. Enter Tamra’s hot gay psychic Scott, who divined from the ether that Brooks was faking his cancer while Tamra reacted something like this.

 

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Une Autre Femme (New York City)
It was haute drama in Marrakech when a psychic warned Ramona Singer that Mario had another woman in his life. Rather than heed this omen, Ramona found a way to make it LuAnn’s fault and pursued that instead.

 

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Allison DuBois (Beverly Hills)
Easily the most infamous one-episode character in Housewives history, Allison DuBois used her considerable cosmic talents to divine that Kyle Richards was a mean girl bully with a gaping asshole whose husband fucked the nannies. One wonders if her conclusions might have been slightly biased, but who am I to question the namesake of TV’s Medium?

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