Lydia Schiavello is Hawking Frozen Snack Pies

This is the most important article you’ll read today (if the gotdamn Daily Telegraph doesn’t paywall you). I mean, damn, imagine hiring Lydia Schiavello to spock speak on behalf of your brand. What you get is gorgeous word soup like:

Having a little Patties pie and a drink is gourmet. It’s not just the Four’N Twenty. With a glass of champagne, darling, I’m sure I could sweep you off your feet.

and

You do see royalty and the Queen going to a game of tennis or something like that and I don’t think they’ll be eating caviar…I think they eat a Four’N Twenty pie every now and then, come on. That’s pretty standard. As long as you know how to roll it in your mouth and hold it. It’s like holding a glass of champagne. There’s the right way of holding a Patties pie.

Strongly agree, Lydia. (Not gonna lie, though, I would actually drunk-eat the shit out of these puppies.)

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