If you’re still here with us in this final half of RHOC season 12 then good on you, you masochist. The absence of last week’s highs(?) and lows was due to the episode being so dull I couldn’t even bother to write about it. Thankfully Taylor helpfully summed up the issues with the normally stellar OC housewives franchise. While this week wasn’t a classic it definitely bounced back some from last week’s low. Let’s dive in.
1. Vicki’s health. Anytime Vicki goes to the doctor I just know she’s going to take whatever mild diagnosis that ails her and twist it around into some narcissistic nightmare. Two moments in her doctor’s visit killed me: a) asking the poor nurse if they can detect a broken heart, and b) one of my new favourite Vicki quotes:
“I am adamant about trying to figure out how to fix these problems with Tamra and Shannon. I don’t want to die of a stroke because they didn’t want to be my friend.”
You hear that, Tamra and Shannon? You are literally at risk of killing Vicki. She has a couple non-urgent heart things diagnosed and uses them to beg out of going to Meghan’s mystic dinner. Never change, my dear sweet Vicki.
2. Peggy starting shit. I don’t like Peggy and I don’t think she’s right in this argument, but I respect her for going there. Sure, setting off Shannon is the world’s easiest sport but I appreciate her for adding some conflict and causing Tamra’s jaw to drop for like a minute straight. She didn’t fool anyone with playing dumb about how she was clearly alluding to David’s affair. Own it, Peggy.
3. Flashback city. It makes sense that in this dire season I can’t get enough of the amazing flashbacks to highlights from seasons gone by. Clearly the producers are enjoying savaging Vicki via flashback at every opportunity. The montage of her screaming at various people over the past 12 years had me cackling even though I’ve seen every scene a billion times. Debating making “I’m so mad” echoing out over Whistler Blackcomb my ringtone. Do people still do custom ringtones? Probably in the OC. Also respect for flashing back to Tamra’s psychic Scott outing Brooks’s cancer lies for the first time right after Vicki calls out psychics for being liars. Stellar editing, team.
1. Lydia. Oh my god I didn’t know I could hate Lydia this much. Between forcing me to think about Nobleman magazine, pitching Iceland as a destination in 2017 (real cutting edge there, guys), being a constant wet blanket about any activity, and constantly gaslighting poor Shannon, Andy Cohen can’t punt her out of the housewives-verse fast enough.
2. Mystic Michaela. Almost anytime some sort of psychic or medium makes an appearance at a housewives event it becomes television gold. The undisputed best obviously being RHOBH’s Alison Dubois, but RHOC has dabbled as well with the aforementioned Brooks-Buster Scott and also some relatively uneventful Doobie back in season 6. Michaela had big shoes to fill and she didn’t even come close. She briefly told Tamra and Shannon their aura colours without any real elaboration then sat silently throughout the evening’s Peggy/Shannon drama.
3. Shannon’s gaslighting. Yes, Shannon is a fucking mess this season. I’m sure it’s exhausting to deal with, especially for Tamra who has been handling it like a champ. But I seriously can’t deal with people acting like she has no right to be upset about the things people have been saying to her and accusing her of. Lydia is especially egregious about it, saying condescending shit to Shannon and making her pop off. It’s really giving me Heather Dubrow flashbacks and that was not a good look on her, either.
Next week we land in Iceland so Nobleman can document all the cool male things to do in a land of ice. Let’s pray the drama from the previews is real.