It was an odd trip to Dallas this week — intensely Cary-centric and not much happened. The pacing was very weird; the entire back half of the episode was devoted to the girls packing, travelling to Mexico, and settling into their hotel rooms. Still, Dallas has been such a reliable performer that it’s allowed a slow week, and it feels greedy to demand more of the episode that provided us with the greatest Housewives hot mic moment of all time.
Let’s round ’em up.
6. Kameron: A very low-key week for Kam Kam, though her worries that the Mexican air would ruin her fluffy pink suitcase (???) sustained me.
5. D’Andra: The episode focused tightly in on the Cary-Brandi-LeeAnne triad, leaving D’Andra as an afterthought. D’Andra’s main footage this week consisted of her taking Cary to the gun range. I’m a gay liberal from Canada so yeah. No real point of entry for me there.
4. Stephanie: Quit trying to cover up your living room stun bath, you buzzkill.
3. Cary: This episode was a deep dive into the myriad factors that make Being Cary a nightmare. Cary’s life seems like a quiet hell, enough that I would pity her if I didn’t find her to be such a cipher. I suspect, again, that the work/life drama between her and Mark is at least partially staged, but it’s drama that’s both tedious and anxiety-making, making both of its participants seem like strange aliens trapped in a terrible marriage. Her LeeAnne problem is totally legitimate but she’s invited it via her passive participation in LeeAnne’s exclusion from the group (and via her participation on Real Housewives, let’s be real). It’s getting more and more difficult to see what Cary gets from being on this show. It doesn’t seem like she enjoys it.
2. Brandi: Brandi’s habit of acting as the middleman to ferry gossip and bad feelings between the sides would be well-deployed as strategy by a more savvy Housewife (Tamra?) but I truly believe that this is just her way of being — she’s the best ally of whomever she happens to be talking to, and submarines people with no regard of how shady it makes her look. This tactic will absolute destroy her friendship with LeeAnne eventually (I’m guessing they’re dunzo by the reunion) and will probably make Cary and Stephanie wary of her as well. Trust is at a premium on these shows. Brandi has to pick a horse eventually.
The queen stays queen.
Next week on The Real Housewives of Dallas: Kameron reenacts Peggy Hill’s trip to Mejico.